Alfred Jarry Quotes

As a matter of fact we both are [being offensive]; and the only difference between us is that I am trying to be, and you can't help it.

I don't throw shade at anybody like, 'You sound like me.'

Are you lazy or just incompetent?

The more I think you over, the more it comes home to me what an unmitigated Middle Victorian ass you are!

With you, what you see is what you get. And I see cheap.

I'm sorry, but were you dropped on your head as an infant?

-Mikhail?...Try making suggestions next time, or just plain asking. You go do whatever it is you're doing, and I'll go search you extensive library for a book on manners. -You will not find it. -Why am I not surprised?

When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.

I won't insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.

I think to simply make fun of something isn't particularly interesting. I try to not just do a parody of something or belittle something or disparage something.

In any country when you throw something in somebody's face, it's disrespectful.

Eddie Murphy said once in an interview that nothing is offensive if it's funny. I sort of agree with that, but if something's funny and you're the subject of it, sometimes it's more offensive. If someone's insulting you, you want them to sound like an idiot.

A close family member once offered his opinion that I exhibit the phone manners of a goat, then promptly withdrew the charge - out of fairness to goats.

Insult is powerful. Insult begets both rage and humor and often at the same time.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

You can't be satirical and not be offensive to somebody.

If I wanted your opinion, I'd slap it outta ya.

I've been called worse things by better people.

One camel does not make fun of another camel's hump.

Your questions are stupid!

I’m ready any time you want to repeat the stupid question.

You are a daft race. Begone!

And you, madam, are ugly, but I shall be sober in the morning.

When we want to say something negative to somebody we say, 'Aww, you're so crazy.'

We make fun of our leaders.