JENNA MARBLES

The days I'm not doing videos, I always have random stuff. We do production meeting stuff. Those are so stupid. Everyone's like, 'We like you; we don't know what to do with you.' I'm like, 'Cool.'

I can pretty much justify anything as work if I'm reading the news or whatever.

I'm not an actor.

There's a big difference between me and other YouTubers - a lot of them have big, concrete plans. I'm still this weird chicken with my head cut off. I don't know what I want to do next and haven't known that since I started.

I have had a lot of cool offers to move into traditional media, but I'm not completely sold I have to do that.

I like to dress up.

I came out of my shell in college.

There is no cure for ugly, but you can make yourself into a human optical illusion.

If you were born really ugly like me, have no fear. There's steps you can take to be good-looking. Kind of.

Sometimes I like to think it would be nice if you just had a character, and your personal life was your personal life. My life is definitely out there, you know?

What I get to do is have fun in my house, by myself, and put it on the Internet.

I make more money than I need, ever.

You've already got a natural glow, kind of of, cuz you're drunk, so just make it like way more intense, everybody loves someone who's so red in the face. Are you embarrassed? No, I'm just excited to be here. I'm normal, I swear. Do you want my phone number?

I don't recommend washing your face. Because you might drown.

If you can't move your brush good, just move your face.

Make it look like your skin is not so angry at you for your bad life choices.

So you don't have time for concealer, you have time for powder for when you start crying later about how some boy doesn't like you.

Make your face not look like your face by piling on like the heaviest makeup you can find and do it with some kind of brush that won't judge you.

It's okay if you can't see what you're doing, cuz even when your eyes are open, you can't see what you're doing.

If you have something floating in your drink, then you know you're ready. Seriously, what's in my drink? Aliens. Still gonna drink it.