Spike Milligan Quotes

It's not good for comedy to be like, 'Thanks for liking me.' Being popular is poison.

I love Charles Baudelaire. Him and Shakespeare are the only people I think are better than me.

I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack. That should be the name of my new DVD: 'Chris Rock: Slightly Above Hack'.

A remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he is really very good in spite of all the people who say he is very good.

People say, 'Since you got rich and famous, you've become insufferable.' I say, 'That's not true. I've always been insufferable.'

I'm all about being self-deprecating because I think it's hilarious. Any actor who takes themselves seriously just needs to stop being such a piece of s**t.

Keep your sense of humor. As General Joe Stillwell said, 'The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his behind'.

Bryant Gumbel's ego has applied for statehood. And if it's accepted, it will be the fifth-largest.

Writers are encouraged to "keep 'em laughing" and complain "with good humor" in order to "win" allies. The joke is always on ourselves.

No novelists any good except me. Sovietski -- yah! Nastikoff -- bah! I spit me of zem all. No novelists anywhere any good except me. P. G. Wodehouse and Tolstoi not bad. Not good, but not bad. No novelists any good except me.

If you think everything you've done is great, you're probably dumb.

America has got to learn to take a joke.

I think people can stand to take themselves just a little less seriously. I'm fighting the war against pretension.

You have to keep a sense of humor about yourself, more than anything else. You've got to take the issues very seriously, but you can't take yourself too seriously. And Washington is a city in which everybody takes themselves extraordinarily seriously.

My wife says OBE stands for Old Big 'Ead.

I was born on Nov. 4, which is election day ... my birthday has made more men and sent more back to honest work than any other days in the year.

My father has a high opinion of his opinion

My girlfriend just told me I am one of the smartest people she knows. I told her, You need to meet other people.

I never take any notice of reviews - unless a critic has thought up some new way of describing me. That old one about my lizard eyes and anteater nose and the way I sleep my way through pictures is so hackneyed now.

Calvin: I'm a genius. I can't believe how smart I am. ...I've got more brains than I know what to do with. Hobbes: So I've noticed.

Greetings, conversationalists across the fruited plain, this is Rush Limbaugh, the most dangerous man in America, with the largest hypothalamus in North America, serving humanity simply by opening my mouth, destined for my own wing in the Museum of Broadcasting, executing everything I do flawlessly with zero mistakes, doing this show with half my brain tied behind my back just to make it fair because I have talent on loan from ... God. Rush Limbaugh. A man. A legend. A way of life.

I'm a misunderstood genius." "What's misunderstood?" "Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic.

Cultures that don't laugh at themselves are cults.

I knew if I lived long enough I would be poet laureate of something.