Groucho Marx Quotes

Cuban cigars is a big expense because I do smoke a lot of them, eight to 12 a day, so that would be almost as bad as a cocaine habit, a hundred bucks a day.

I was a smoker for about 20 years.

There's nothing quite like tobacco: it's the passion of decent folk, and whoever lives without tobacco doesn't deserve to live.

I did successfully kick tobacco at the age of 34. I smoked for like 20 years, from 14 to 34.

… Smoking sets a bad example.

I smoke, I want to get rid of the habit.

I'm going to stop smoking. I'm not such a good smoker, anyway. It's not in my bones. I'm gonna drop it.

I was always able to understand my friend who decided to quit smoking and who, through an effort of will, succeeded in doing so. One morning, he opened the newspaper, read that the first H- bomb had exploded, found out about the bomb's admirable effects and went straight to the tobacconist's.

She smiled with all the delight of a kid on Christmas morning and said, "Y'all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die." - Alaska

Don't start smoking. It's much harder to stop than it is not to start at all.

When people asked me, "Do you get high to go onstage?" I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning.

My dad was an alcoholic and my mother...we didn't have any money and I grew up really poor. I watched them spend all of their money on cartons of cigarettes and stuff like that and I didn't understand how if we were broke and we couldn't afford Christmas presents, why could you smoke all of those cigarettes? It's not like they are making you better...they are killing you. It seemed real idiotic to me.

I love to smoke. I smoke seven thousand packs a day!

I never sing under the shower, I keep it for the stage.

'You ain't got any tobacco,' he said scornfully to Bunyip Bluegum. 'I can see that at a glance. You're one of the non smoking sort, all fur and feathers.'

I have a great deal of respect for the craft, I don't know how much respect it has for me. But it's a precision process. Doing it on stage would be, I think, terrifying. Doing it on film has its own difficulties, because film is not conducive to spontaneity. You might have a run through and get a few chuckles at eight o'clock in the morning, but you don't keep laughing at the same thing all day long.

Smoking is, if not my life, then at least my hobby. I love to smoke. Smoking is fun. Smoking is cool. Smoking is, as far as I am concerned, the entire point of being an adult.

I don't smoke at all. I think that cigarettes are actually retarded. I don't understand why people do that to themselves.

Actors always loved props and-so instead of a hat or an umbrella, they feel really comfortable with a cigarette as a prop.

To smoke or not to smoke: I can make of either a life-work.

I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

Whatever you do, don't smoke.

Tobacco is the passion of honest men and he who lives without tobacco is not worthy of living.

The state of New York's got this group of people called smokers, and they know they're addicted, and despite all the efforts to make 'em quit, they know they can't. So they just see a pile of money when they see these people. And they think because they're addicted, they can't not buy the product, so they just keep raising taxes and raising taxes, and they expect people just to come up with the money from somewhere and pay it.

oh god it’s wonderful to get out of bed and drink too much coffee and smoke too many cigarettes and love you so much