M. C. Escher Quotes

I'm just not very funny.

I don't think I'm funny.

I always think everyone else is funnier than me. I look at other comedians and I say, 'I wish I was that good.' People think I'm funny, and I say, 'I'm not.'

A lot of stand-up comedians are actually very insecure, and they come on slightly battling the audience. They want to be the superior person in the room, sneering at the world. That can be very funny. But to me, what's more interesting is that the world is on my shoulders, and it's pushing me down.

A real man doesn't know what cellulite is. Until I was 30 I thought cellulite was a building material used for restoring plasterwork in stately homes.

People think I'm clever, which is hilarious. I'm like, 'When did this happen? People used to think I couldn't string a sentence together.'

Nobody likes me,” he concluded at the tail end of a ten-minute pity fest. “Can’t imagine why,” Quinn murmured. I turned my snort of laughter into a fake cough, which was an embarrassingly feeble attempt at subterfuge when you consider the fact that I didn’t have any lungs.

We spend a good part of our lives trying desperately to convince ourselves as well as everybody else that we know more than we really do.

I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma patient with a keyboard and spasms.

I watched the video [ with my first commercial] when I was 20, and in the video, there are two families. The first family is this smiling blond Partridge family, a Californian/Aryan kind of thing, all playing guitars, all singing together and harmonizing. And then, there's my family - and in my family, it starts with my mom saying that she feels like a drill sergeant sometimes, and she's yelling at one of my brothers to stop hitting another one of my brothers. It's just like, "Great, we're that family." It felt a little Simpsons versus Flanders.

I built you a sandcastle because you're a princess, but I tore it down because I'm a loser.

Well, I'm quite a self-deprecating person.

The essence of the ludicrous consists in surprise,--in unexpected terms of feeling and explosions of thought,--often bringing dissimilar things together with a shock; as when some wit called Boyle, the celebrated philosopher, the father of chemistry and brother of the Earl of Cork.

So there you have it, the extent of my charms: brown hair and eyes like unbarfed chocolate. I'm a lucky girl." -Max

Sometimes I stand there going, 'I'm not doing any of this right!' And then I get this big man belch out of her, and I go, 'Ah, we accomplished this together.'

I am terribly shy, but of course no one believes me. Come to think of it, neither would I.

She explained that many people, but especially women, feel fraudulent when they are praised for their accomplishments. Instead of feeling worthy of recognition, they feel undeserving and guilty, as if a mistake has been made. Despite being high achievers, even experts in their fields, women can't seem to shake the sense that it is only a matter of time until they are found out for who they really are- impostors with limited skills or abilities.

I don't know what humor is.

Math was always my bad subject. I couldn't convince my teachers that many of my answers were meant ironically.

I'm completely unqualified for any job I've ever had.

He was, he would be the first to admit, a coward, an incompetent, and not even very good at being a failure.

In high school I was voted the girl most likely to become a nun. That may not be impressive to you, but it was quite an accomplishment at the Hebrew Academy.

My ass may be dumb, but I ain't no dumbass.

I realize that I am not a journalist. So anything I say is not important.