Steven Wright Quotes

All the therapists would tell me was that I was the only healthy person they knew.

I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.

Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.

My dad has some depressive issues, and he's really tough on himself. So sometimes he can say things that are not super supportive. Like once I did a set, and he says, 'Sheesh, no wonder you're still single.' I was like, 'Eight ball, corner pocket, dad.'

I do not look at myself every morning and think: 'Oh, my gosh, I am so perfect, so beautiful, so talented.' No, I like to make fun of myself.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

My dad has a dry, deadpan sense of humor, and my mom has an unexpected, wacky take on things. They really encouraged laughing at ourselves and the weirdness of situations that come up growing up in politics.

We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the 'Girlfriend in a Coma' is, like, really funny.

I've learned to have a sense of humor about myself. Lord knows everyone else does!

Ever since I gave up therapy, it's my only time with a captive audience.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

When my husband tells our daughter, 'You get that trait from Mom,' she lights up with pride. We all know who he's talking about. And it's not me. I'm fine with this.

If written with enough care and thoughtfulness, a joke can make you laugh at a belief you hold dear.

I don't take myself or the species too seriously. You have to laugh at everything.

You say you're sick and tired of hearing about me? I've got news for you: I'M sick and tired of hearing about me.

When I want to be reminded of stupidity, especially my own, I turn on the TV.

If I had a sense of humor, I'd be laughing right now.

I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.

Does anything on you work properly?" Asked ter Borcht. "Well, I do have a highly developed sense of irony." Replied Iggy.

The myth of my solitude makes me laugh.

'The Ugly Truth' isn't trying to change the world with strong political opinions; it's just trying to entertain you with thoughts and ideas from my crazy mind!

It's just my natural way - to be funny. I don't know why that is. But as I've said, humor is a quick cover for shock, horror, confusion. The critics hate funny writers for the most part. They think funny is not serious, but I think that funny can be even more serious than nonfunny. And it can be more affecting, too.

In a satire, you need foolishness.

Why would you want a picture with a wee, chubby guy from Bathgate? I just don't understand my appeal.

I don't take myself seriously, because I'm obviously ludicrous.