Joan Rivers Quotes

Winter is a terrible time for thin people - terrible! Why should it hound them down, fasten on them, worry them so? Why not, for a change, take a nip, take a snap at the fat ones who wouldn't notice? But no! It is sleek, warm, cat-like summer that makes the fat one's life a misery. Winter is all for bones.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

It's difficult to be at events with a room full of women who weigh half as much as you do.

I sympathize far more with heavier people than I ever will with thin. I'll never be thin. Let's be honest.

I was fat, and that was awful because when you're young and sensitive, you think the world is over because you're fat.

All my life people have made fun of me because I was so skinny. They kind of made me feel bad about it sometimes. I worried that maybe people will think I am really anorexic.

I don't want to lose weight to live long or be healthy. I just want to be able to make fun of fat people again and know for sure that they're fatter than me.

Our weights fluctuate: Some people gain or lose, even friends who are average size. If I would say 'I'm fat,' my friends would say, 'Don't say that!' And I'd think, 'Are you offended, you can't handle the word? Or do you think I am embarrassed?'

I never worry about fat people worrying about thin people, because slender people bury the dead.

In school, I was always a fat girl. No matter how thin you are, but girls always have this thing in mind that I am a little fat.

I hate how people say I'm growing up fast.

Do people really think that about my nose? I spent my whole life hating it, so its amusing that people like it!

Really, the combination of the scabs and the ointment looks hideous. I can't help enjoying his distress. "Poor Finnick. Is this the first time in your life you haven't looked pretty?" I say. "It must be. The sensation's completely new. How have you managed it all these years?" he asks. "Just avoid mirrors. You'll forget about it," I say. "Not if I keep looking at you," he says.

A fat man is never so happy as when he is describing himself as "robust.

My weight is always perfect for my height - which varies.

I enjoy the way I look, but it's a joke.

I don't like myself. I'm not vain at all. I hate looking at myself - I always think I look ugly. Honest.

When I was really little, I was skinny and people laughed at me for being skinny, so, we all pay our dues for the bodies we're in one way or another. But thank god I haven't needed to alter it to feel good about myself.

How you sound. How you look. Are you fat? Those are things that could be really irritating.

I hate my smile. I always have, even in my school pictures when I was a little kid.

Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.

My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.

No one can make fun of overweight people in front of me!

People still tell me I’m fat, but when I look in the mirror, that’s not what I see.

You can say anything you want to say about me. But don't you dare address overweight people with terrible names and ugly remarks. That is what upsets me.