Scott Aukerman Quotes

If I had been on 'Ally McBeal,' I would have been seen coming out of the shower on the first show.

But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone.

I think that 'Saving Grace' is pretty funny. I think that the show and the woman have a pretty great sense of humor.

I want to be a late night host and the podcast is a way for me to do longer form interviews and to get better at interviewing.

To kick things off, [television show host Andy Cohen] asked the last time Winfrey had smoked marijuana. 'Uh ... 1982,' Winfrey replied. 'Let's hang out after the show,' Cohen joked. 'Okay,' Winfrey laughed. 'I hear it's gotten better.'

I've done comedy on stage, in fact it is one of my strong points.

I like being a funny lady. I think theres nothing sexier than a funny lady.

I was funny -- ha-ha, not peculiar. It was a modest currency, like pennies: pedestrian, somewhat laborious, but a currency nonetheless. I was funny, in public, most often at my own expense.

I'm funny because I'm funny. And there's more to offer.

I always put these pert jackanapeses out of countenance by looking extremely grave when they expect that I should laugh at their pleasantries; and by saying Well, and so?--as if they had not done, and that the sting were still to come. This disconcerts them, as they have no resources in themselves, and have but one set of jokes to live upon.

I think everyone is born funny. Sadly, some lives beat it out of them. I don't know what allows someone to keep being funny and actually make a career of it.

I was never a hammy child. But I could make people laugh.

You mostly know that you want to be funny, know that you have the desire. It's not like people who grow up beautiful and can look in the mirror and be like, I'm beautiful! Funny is more of a journey. And a desperate attempt.

I really like being able to laugh at my own jokes.

When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story.

God, that Anthony Jeselnik Show sounds really funny.

I do think I am funny, or I wouldn't be where I am today. I do think there is always room for improvement and learning.

I am one of the funniest people on the planet.

When you start in the childhood period, when you begin to form a comic sense, it was the radio comedians - from the last days of radio and the first days of television. And Spike Jones. And the Marx Brothers. They represented anarchy. They took things that were nice and decent and proper, and they tore them to shreds. That attracted me.

I feel like all comedy does require a lack of vanity, but multi-cam, especially.

With comedy, a lot of people develop their sense of humor as a defense mechanism.

I think I became funny because I grew up in the Bronx. I was small and weak and Jewish instead of large and fierce and Puerto Rican. You need something.

I [give] maybe the long-winded speeches that not everybody reads, but I can also do a slow jam on Jimmy Fallon better than most.

I don't feel any pressure to be funny at all. I'm funny because I want to be funny. I could sit here and be serious for an hour and you would go away and make me much funnier than I am.

I think I'm the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people.