Oprah Winfrey Quotes

I want to get back and figure out how we're going to make 'The Tonight Show' funny and good.

I would love to be on 'Glee,' thus furthering the myth that I'm a gay man.

I love the show 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia;' that's probably a guilty pleasure! I laugh so hard.

I loved Julia Louis-Dreyfus's show 'The New Adventures of Old Christine.' That made me laugh out loud. She's like Lucille Ball. She's brilliant.

I came into the 'Comedy Bang! Bang!' TV show with a level of confidence that I don't think I would've had if I hadn't been doing the podcast for three years already. I certainly had to figure out in those three years the sense of humor I wanted to do and the way to talk to celebrities without being incredibly intimidated by them.

On 'The Soup,' we were never a political show.

Believe me, when I saw 'Family Guy' do the bit on 'Africa,' I howled laughing.

Through eight years, 'How I Met Your Mother' has mastered the art of leading-edge comedy, emotional water-cooler moments, and pop culture catch-phrases.

God, that Anthony Jeselnik Show sounds really funny.

What I did was experiment with a little marijuana like a lot of other people and walked away...

When I was a kid, I inhaled. Frequently. That was the point.

I smoked pot in college and in the Army.

Every script I've read for 'Black Jesus' has been hilarious.

Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness.

I don't do drugs, though. Just weed.

I smoke weed, of course. That's like meditation for me. Watching movies is a really good escape as well.

But the main thing I don't want to be is un-funny. That's really the mandate. Just whatever we're doing, make it as funny as we can possibly make it. And believe me, if the show starts going down, we'll introduce a baby. We'll do everything that they did on 'Family Ties.' I'm not afraid of that.

Let's get to the point Let's roll another joint

I want people to say, "Oh my God, I'm laughing out loud at television."

In my spare time, I smoke acres of weed.

I want to be on that thing that people watch while they're eating a quick dinner before they go out, or to cheer them up. I want to make people laugh every day, if I can.

When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story.

Look, I have never made a secret of the fact that I have tried marijuana... About 50,000 times.

I know how to make an audience laugh, 'cause I grew up on Third Rock from the Sun, week after week in front of audiences, making them laugh.

I'm not great at fear. I made the least frightening vampire show ever on TV. I'm pretty much good at heroic narratives and making people laugh, and that's pretty much it.