Jon Lovitz Quotes

We used to drink an awful lot of alcohol.

How am I going to listen to that horrible noise I make without a gram of coke and a couple of double Jack Daniels?

I'm drinking lots of rum and popping pinks and greys.

They shoulda called me Little Cocaine, I was sniffing so much of the stuff! My nose got big enough to back a diesel truck in, unload it, and drive it right out again.

I don't know how I made those movies. I went out every single night, I smoked pot every single day. I drank. We did everything, but I never became a drug addict or an alcoholic. Other friends are dead, many of them. So many people in this retrospective...in Female Trouble, almost everyone is dead.

When you take a lot of cocaine powder you tend to take a lot of alcohol with it as well, so for many years really I never went out without at least four or five grams of cocaine powder.

Anybody who does 90 takes has a problem.

I suppose the old natural stuff would be ok, the old mushroom, but I wouldn't advise anyone to do it.

When I was 20, I was drinking. When I was 30, I was drinking more, and at 40, way too much.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

This day we have held a council, and it is agreed by the Shawnee in general that whatever rum is in our towns shall be broke and split and not drunk; and whosoever shall bring any rum or any sort of strong drink into our towns, Indian or white man, let it be little or much, it shall be broke or split in the presence of the whole town…

Evidence...proves that prohibition only drives drunkenness behind doors and into dark places, and does not cure it or even diminish it.

I can tell you that the formula works, and works pretty well. You avoid criminals and violence, you refuse their mode of money that nourishes the cartels, and that is a great solution to the violence problem. In relation to the health problem, I have not ever heard of anybody dying from an overdose of marijuana.

Drinking makes people go out of control.

Sure, I've done enough partying for 10 guys.

Alcohol is like anything else. It's only as bad as the person it's being poured into. If it's used to heighten an occasion, or to take an edge off stress, I don't see a problem. Trouble starts when you either lose control and let the bottle run you, or when you believe its promises of immortality. You realize that no matter how much you punish yourself, you always seem to wake up the next day. Pretty soon you're convinced that you will never die. When that happens I guess it is time to look for help before your life becomes one long, lost weekend.

I know certain actors are totally screwed up on drugs, yet it gets covered up. Why wasn't I excused for 'exhaustion' or 'the flu'?

I was never a cokehead or anything like that. I always despised that drug. I thought it was a waste of time, pointless.

In terms of coke, the only money I ever thought about was that dollar bill I had stuck up my nose.

I have better use for my brain than to poison it with alcohol. To put alcohol in the human brain is like putting sand in the bearings of an engine.

I don't like the drugs, but the drugs like me.

There is not a single person alive who could keep a straight face and say "Oh yeah it's healthy, the reason I use drugs and alcohol and booze is because it's healthy!"

I've been in the music business for 15 years. I've seen it all, man. I've just always been scared of coke. When I was on the road and saw some people do it, I was afraid I would really like it. I was afraid of the consequences.

I would drink and drink and then at 3 o'clock in the morning take anything that was put in front of me. And I'd sometimes be disappointed when conventional things were put in front of me. Like, I'd do a line of something and be disappointed to find it was just cocaine.