Rick Riordan Quotes

If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.

I fart in your general direction.

Tell me again how great you are, asshole. Nothing like a steel enema to ruin even your best day. (Fang)

You stupid jackass," Ian said. "Who's got the crush on a worm, bro? You gonna call me stupid?

Well, well, well, well. If it isn't fat, stinking billygoat Billy-Boy in poison. How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip-oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if you have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly thou.

I hear laughter and someone asks if I need help, not in a nice way. I snarl, "What I need is for your mother to have thought a little harder nine months before your birthday.

This Fruity Pebble that ya dealin' with, I ain't ya average jabroni. I'm like a big purple pinwheel, Rock, so go ahead and blow me.

I know what you wanted to say, Do you think that electrocution rewired your brain to make you the retard that you are? You can say it, lady.

Ethan Wyeth: I hope you're thirsty." Gideon Wyeth:"Why?" Ethan: "Cause your dumb and ugly, but I can do something about thirsty.

I said to a girl I'd been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I'll show you where it's at. She said, You'd better, because the last time I could'nt find it.

Why don't you do the world a favour. Pull your bottom lip up over your head and swallow.

Want a hot dog, McMahon?

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

If there's anyone still present whom I've failed to insult . . . I apologize.

Why don't you swallow razor blades?

Keep it up, wise guy. I'm always going to be taller than you once you're lying unconscious on the ground.

Gabrielle was insulted and didn't even bother to hide it. 'Oh, and I suppose you think your dad was alone when he free-climbed the Kyoto Banking Tower on a windy day last September.

Grapes are juicy. Strawberries. Oranges. Good pork chops are succulent," said Dusty. "But the word isn't accurately descriptive of a person." Smiling with delight, Ahriman said, "Oh, really, not accurately descriptive? Be careful housepainter. Your genes are showing. What if I were a cannibal?

What? Were you born stupid, or did you just die that way?

I'm sorry, but were you dropped on your head as an infant?

Any time I’m not shooting my mouth off to a clichéd, two-bit creature of the night like you, it’s because I’m up to something.

Dampier is soft. Quote it, underline it, tape it and send it to him.

How was I to know idiocy was only a temporary condition, especially in your case? It never has been before!

I point out truths when I see them, Brightlord Sadeas. Each man has his place. Mine is to make insults. Yours is to be in-sluts.