Bruce McCall Quotes

Golf is the absolute worst place for me to be because I am the exact opposite of everything that a golfer should encompass, should be, and I'm not.

Golf is one of the few sports where a white man can dress like a black pimp and not look bad.

I like going there for golf. America's one vast golf course these days.

I'm thinking of taking up golf, but the idea of spending time with golfers frightens me.

There's nothing like sitting and watching the Masters on TV.

I'm an athlete. I'm not a big golf nerd in that aspect. I'm not big on the history.

Baffling late-life discovery: Golfers wear those awful clothes on purpose.

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.

Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.

If Tiger Woods slamming his club into the ground is the biggest worry wehave, our sport isinprettygood shape.

I'm not a big shorts person. Personally, I hate to see men's legs on the golf course.

Golf is the only opportunity that middle-aged WASPs have to dress up like a pimp.

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass.

I like golf because you can be really terrible at it, and still not look much dorkier than anybody else.

You're not going to tell me that you're going to find a person who's not a very good athlete and he or she is going to be a great player. But anyone can play the game. That's the nice thing about the game. You don't really have to be a world-class athlete to play the sport [golf] and have fun because of handicap systems.

In high school, I didn't get the chance to wrestle varsity until my senior year because I had an older brother who was better than me.

Go play golf. Go to the golf course. Hit the ball. Find the ball. Repeat until the ball is in the hole. Have fun. The end.

Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.

One single great player doesn't make anything for a team; it has to be a team. I think [American] football is the greatest team sport there is because you have to depend on your brother next to you.

What other sport holds out hope of improvement to a man or a woman over fifty? True, the pros begin to falter at around forty, but it is their putting nerves that go, not their swings. For a duffer like [me], the room for improvement is so vast that three lifetimes could be spent roaming the fiarways carving away at it, convinced that perfection lies just over the next rise. And that hope, perhaps, is the kindest bliss of all that golf bestows upon its devotees.

The determining bulk of Scotch people had heard of golf ever since they had heard of God and often considered the two as of equal importance.

Few golfers are born with the natural talent for hitting the ball, but every player is blessed with the God-given ability to throw a club.

...as all souls are equal before their Maker, a two inch putt counts the same as a 250 yard drive. There is a comedy in this and a certain unfairness even, which makes golf an even apter mirror of reality.

[Golfers] are a special kind of moral realist who nips the normal romantic and idealistic yearnings in the bud by proving once or twice a week that life is unconquerable but endurable.