Neil Armstrong Quotes

I'm not generally a big solo guy, because I'm not into showing off that way.

I only mean forty per cent of what I say.

I like when people are trapped in the joke, when there's no escape. I like to lead people down the wrong path and then trap them.

I'm always announcing my retirement. I'm still not retired.

Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help.

Actually, I am a golfer. That is my real occupation. I never was an actor. Ask anybody, particularly the critics.

Over time, I've come to recognize what others bring to the table, and I've developed a much more team-based approach. There's the saying that there is no end to what one can achieve if one doesn't have to take the credit for what was achieved.

What's funny is that an old Web site of mine just had one fake bio, and everyone went crazy for it. So when I made the new Web site, I thought, 'I just need to make this one even more absurd.'

My ears are huge. If there's ever a problem with a plane I'm on, they could just put me on the wing and I'll land the sucker.

A caricature is putting the face of a joke on the body of a truth.

Baseball has been good to me since I quit trying to play it.

I suppose I shouldn't go around admitting I speak untruths on the radio. When I say something untrue on the air, I mean for it to be transparently untrue. I assume people know when I'm just saying something for effect. Or to be funny.

One press account said I was an overnight success. I thought that was the longest night I've ever spent.

When I say something untrue on the air, I mean for it to be transparently untrue. I assume people know when I'm just saying something for effect. Or to be funny.

I like to edit; I like to work with other people, and that's something stand-up doesn't really have.

Comedians in general make their living calling liars on their lies.

The important thing is the solution to the problem, not who gets the credit.

Great men are rarely isolated mountain peaks; they are the summits of ranges.

Thank you to everyone who works with us on our shows for making us look like we know what we're doing.

It doesn't really matter who's getting the credit. We just love to be on the field and winning games.

With the Roses, I knew we were great; I felt that we would achieve something. On my own, I had no idea.

It's not what one person does. One person is going to get to be the star of the game. But it might have been the guy who got the guy over that's the real star of the game.

You can get a lot done when you don't care about credit. My name was not on Medicaid expansion, but it never would have happened without the work that I did. The best leaders are the ones that want results, not credit.

I don't ever like taking credit for anyone's success, but I definitely would say that I've helped a lot of people along the way.

I saw a seagull hanging out by a lake, but I said, "Don't worry, Dude. I won't say anything."