Kevin James Quotes

I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time.

For me, it's nice to have a character who can never find love and have that be the running theme, but I think when you open the door to a story line about relationships, you open the door to another realm of comedy.

I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track.

You might recognize me, I'm the fourth guy from the left on the evolutionary chart.

You just can't take yourself too seriously, especially in comedy. You shouldn't try to be funny, but you should try to be as honest as possible. The extreme end of honesty is usually what's funny. That's your job [as an actor]. You just have to let people see it.

What happens, I think, is especially for comic effect you find something about yourself that you don't like. You exaggerate it, and it's funny.

I think stand-up comedy is this - it's this kind of indulgence and narcissism.

They ask me what the biggest thing I have going on right now is, and I usually say, "I think this interview?" And then they don't get that it's a joke. So then I say, Yogi Bear 3D. That's my default.

I'm not romantic at all. I'm a moaner. I should be on Grumpy Old Men. I'm terrible.

I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?

If I had a sense of humor, I'd be laughing right now.

I'm a hard act to follow, because when I'm done, I take the microphone with me.

If I wasn't acting, I have no clue what I'd be doing 'cause I have no other talent.

sometimes in comedy you can make the audience feel poignancy stronger than you can with tears or anguish.

I do consider myself a clown and a court jester, and I do love to make people laugh, whether they're laughing with me or at me.

Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said "Anybody got an aspirin? I think I've got a cold."

I think everybody you know, we all have a sense of humor and I'm not one to take myself too seriously.

If I was a locksmith, I'd be pimping that out man. I'll trade you a free key duplication for. That joke made me laugh before I could finish it, which is good, because it had no ending.

The Ninja, as you know, operates by stealth. And so, case in point: I put out records... no one hears them! I make videos... (whispers) no one sees! I go on tour.... (whispers) no one knows! NINJA! I was never here!

I'm an illegal alien and have been for many years. If you rub my skin, I go green.

No matter how you feel, you've got to be able to laugh at yourself. If you can laugh at Donald Trump, then you better be able to laugh at yourself, too. For us as comedians, we have to point out what's funny.

Men love a joke - on the other fellow. But your really humorous woman loves a joke on herself.

For a 6-foot-3 guy with no hair and a whiny voice, I've done all right.

You just can't take yourself too seriously, especially in comedy.

I be goofy, kinda funny. Acting stupid but they love me.