Bing Crosby Quotes

You know, I've never thought of myself as a comedian.

Um, I'm just naturally super-funny. No, not really. I've never been in The Groundlings or anything.

I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack. That should be the name of my new DVD: 'Chris Rock: Slightly Above Hack'.

In a contest between me and a bulldog, you would say the bulldog is cuter.

But I've never looked at myself as being particularly funny.

I think I've got more humour than comes across.

I never thought I was funny.

I enjoy making people laugh. The trick is to tell them jokes against yourself. If you praise yourself, your stories aren't funny.

Comedians don't get Oscars, so I gave up on that a long time ago. And I can't really speak about the Oscar-worthiness of my own performance.

I always wanted to be a comedian and actor. I basically stumbled into the music medium, though. I'm OK, but that's about it. I like to think I'm good enough not to negatively affect the performance.

What is a sense of humor? Surely not the ability to understand a joke. It comes rather from a residing feeling of one's own absurdity. It is the ability to understand a joke, and that the joke is on oneself.

I'm not the comic of the generation, I'm not even the funniest guy in my family.

Those of you who are not aware of my brilliant career as a stand up comic, I'm not aware of it either so we might well wonder what we're doing here.

I started as a ventriloquist, a very bad ventriloquist. And people saw my lips moving and it was ridiculous, so finally I decided I'd better change my occupation.

I think I realized that Dave Barry was funnier than I'll ever be, and he made no attempt to make any actual points. He had a general libertarian point of view, but in general, he just liked to make jokes.

I'm not the smartest dude in the world. (After all... I picked a career in acting.)

A man often runs the risk of throwing away a witticism if he admits that it is his own.

What I do is, I make fun of people and I make fun of myself and things around us and exaggerate things. And I'm never mean-spirited. See, the word insult means some guy who's a real unkind human being. But I don't do that, because otherwise I wouldn't be headlining all these years, thank god, and all these people showing up to see me.

I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I call myself a humorist.

I started out in stand-up, so it's very satisfying to make people laugh, but it usually means at your own expense.

Like the burlesque comedian, I am abnormally fond of that precision which creates movement.

The ability to be funny is pretty widespread in the population.

It's not terribly dignified to have anyone seeing one laugh at one's own material.

I feel like all comedy does require a lack of vanity, but multi-cam, especially.

I'm not going to be remotely funny.