Wally Lamb Quotes

I'm not the guy to ask about politics. I'm a gag writer.

There aren't many political humorists. Dave Barry is excellent, but he doesn't do it much.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Jon Stewart, Bill Maher, Stephen Colbert. Those are the guys I look at who are telling me pretty much the truth. And they throw humor into it which makes it much more interesting to listen to.

Sarcasm all around the world is always against right wing and against people in power. That's the definition of political sarcasm.

Really, what's not to love in John McCain, satire-wise? As if he had not already been good enough to us, then came his nomination of Sarah Palin. Here, truly, was a gift from the gods of satire.

Whoever's president I'm not going to be short on material.

I've made enough jokes about Iran's leadership that I'm sure if I showed up that I would get a nice escort - to the main prison - and then I could do a show there.

If you wanted to hear politics, you'd go to Henry Kissinger; you wouldn't go to hear Jackie Mason. The reason I speak about politics is because I know I can get a laugh out of it.

If Obama was a sonnet, Trump is a limerick. And really, which ones do you enjoy more?

I was very involved in political satire, and I'd been writing parody for 'Mad' and 'National Lampoon,' so I made up some strange story about Gerald Ford.

The reality is, to watch Jon Stewart, you already have to have watched the news. In other words, it's not funny if he does a joke about John McCain and they don't know who John McCain is.

In a weird way, our satirists probably have the most complicated, nuanced views of our politics now - Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, John Oliver. I don't know what that says about our country.

My jokes have definitely changed. 'SNL' has helped with that, because when you're on 'SNL,' you have to kind of pay attention to the news. I feel like my material has gotten smarter now.

I thought that through the strip, I could vent my spleen and be funny at the same time. But when it comes to humor, there's no substitute for reality and politicians.

People go, 'Oh, Trump must be good for comedy,' and I go, 'Ehhh.'

Republicans are easy to make fun of.

Some comedy has turned into, 'Donald Trump's bad, isn't he?' That's a true statement. But where is your joke?

I think I've seen every 'Bill Maher' episode.

I stay far away from political humor.

The job of a comedian is to make people laugh, but a lot of my interests are in politics so I'm going to use that.

Sarah Palin gave a speech in South Korea. Just what the Koreans needed: Two crazy dictators in fashionable lady's glasses.

I have a generally liberal audience, but they will applaud when I nail a liberal lion.

One of my most often repeated quips was the one I made when former Presidents Carter, Ford and Nixon stood by each other at a White House event. 'There they are,' I said. 'See no evil, hear no evil, and . . . evil.'

The comedy gods are smiling on me tonight, because I have been saying, for the longest time, that president Bush must set a timetable for removing his head from his ass...and, by god, today they went in and looked for it... They didn't find it. So now we don't know where it is, but at least for once in my life, I get to see the words "Bush", "operation", and "success" in the same sentence.