GloZell Quotes

With a new baby, you have a bad day now and again because you're particularly tired, but most of the time, you're fine. You spend a lot of your time trying to figure out how you can get more sleep, but really, you're better off just giving up and admitting that you're not going to, so forget about it.

Having an infant is difficult. It's a lot of work, and I didn't hire any help because I overestimated my own abilities.

It's not difficult to take care of a child; it's difficult to do anything else while taking care of a child. Trying to clean up the kitchen after you've had a baby is a nightmare because you have to wait for the baby to be asleep, you're exhausted, and you really don't want to clean up the kitchen now.

I'm doing stand-up comedy. I'm working on a one-woman show about how I don't like my baby. There is a period of time where a baby is born where the next 3 months is harrowing. A lot of people say it's the most wonderful time, but for me it was harrowing.

I feel for all the parents whose babies just keep waking up for years. My heart and back go out to you guys! You are my heroes, and I am not fit to walk in your shoes!

I remember there being a period of time when I had a baby, and I was so sleep-deprived that I'd get into having no filter, and that was not good.

I usually doze off between 7:30 and 9 p.m. while putting my baby to sleep. Then I suddenly wake up remembering I'm an adult with no bedtime. I spend the next four hours catching up on reading, e-mails, and other adult pursuits until I collapse for good until sunrise.

It's funny because everyone says you sleep when baby sleeps or you take a nap when baby takes a nap. That's true when you have one. When you have two, that is not true.

Somehow I am really relaxed within the chaos of having a baby - and anyone who's a mother knows it's very hard to relax, because there is so much to do and worry about!

Being a working mom is not easy. You have to be willing to screw up at every level.

The one advice that I would give just to moms who have a child or a newborn is definitely sleep while the baby sleeps. I've heard that so many times. I never realized how true it really is. If you don't, you'll be walking around like a zombie.

When I look back to when I had my first son, I was unhappy. I couldn't understand why the weight wasn't just falling off.

I'm going to keep it real gully with you; the first two months, I wanted to give him back. I expected someone to come and save me because after you have the baby, nobody cares about you anymore. Nobody cares if you sleep, nobody cares if you eat. It's just you and this all-consuming thingy!

In real life, being a new mom, I would like to be able to sleep. I'd like to snap my fingers and be asleep because I'm a little sleep-deprived, at the moment.

My friends who have kids look like they haven't been to bed for a year.

I'm pretty low-maintenance, but I like my time to myself, and once you have a child, you have to fight for it. I remember the first long bath I took [after Ptolemy's birth] was such a moment. Because a lot of the time you're in the shower, and if that baby cries, you've got to turn off the water and go!

Wow, you're never allowed to sleep late again. You're crankier than a fat guy in stilettos.

I don't think women can have it all. I just don't think so...My husband and I have been married for 34 years, and we have two daughters. And every day you have to make a decision about whether you are going to be a wife or a mother. In fact, many times during the day you have to make those decisions...We co-opted our families to help us. We plan our lives meticulously so we can be decent parents. But if you ask our daughters, I'm not sure they will say that I've been a good mom.

‘How do you juggle it all?’ people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes. ‘You’re screwing it all up, aren’t you?’ their eyes say. My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.

I had twins, so it was really uncomfortable [to sleep], because you lay on one side, and there's a baby, and you lay on the other side and there's a baby. So I had a really hard time with it.

Having a baby is like suddenly getting the world's worst roommate, like having Janis Joplin with a bad hangover and PMS come to stay with you.

You lack the season of all natures, sleep.

Any extra free time you have, you are sleeping, or you're trying to sleep

When you become a mom you just learn how to function sleep deprived and you do get used to it. I came back to work when Finley was three months old and the first few months were rough. Then somehow you learn to exist on no sleep and now when he does upon occasion sleep through the night, which is like a full six hours, you're pretty sure he's suffocating. So you don't sleep anyway.

A lot of people say that Eleanor Roosevelt wasn't a good mother. And there are two pieces to that story. One is, when they were very young, she was not a good mother. She was an unhappy mother. She was an unhappy wife. She had never known what it was to be a good mother. She didn't have a good mother of her own. And so there's a kind of parenting that doesn't happen.