Anne Lamott Quotes

Having a baby is like suddenly getting the world's worst roommate.

I'm doing stand-up comedy. I'm working on a one-woman show about how I don't like my baby. There is a period of time where a baby is born where the next 3 months is harrowing. A lot of people say it's the most wonderful time, but for me it was harrowing.

When you have a new baby, you can get really overwhelmed, since it's such a huge responsibility. You're thrilled to be a mom, but your sleep schedule is so thrown off and it can be scary if you don't have a good support system.

I'm a childless woman, yet I felt no maternal urges whatsoever. The prospect of years of broken nights and nappy changes holds no appeal for me.

Motherhood is quite challenging. Everyday is a whole new adventure with your child.

I tried being a stay-at-home mom for eight weeks. I like the stay-at-home part. Not too crazy about the mom aspect.

Nothing is more precious than your baby.

You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper?

I love children. I'm embarrassingly baby-crazy.

I don't watch television because I have a tiny baby daughter. I'm useless.

Having a baby, it's like a five year commitment.

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they're born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

It's funny, because I did all of these interviews as soon as I had the baby, and they were asking questions, and I really didn't have an idea of anything, because I was so blurry.

Somehow I am really relaxed within the chaos of having a baby - and anyone who's a mother knows it's very hard to relax, because there is so much to do and worry about!

Everybody always talks about it, about how you don't know love until you meet your baby, and you really feel that. There are no words. It was a really wonderful surprise. And there is no way to prepare yourself for the sleep deprivation and what comes with it.

Raising five boys is a handful, trust me.

I think it's a tough road if you're a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, if you have a partner, if you don't. It's the best job in the world, and the toughest job in the world all at the same time.

Having an infant is difficult. It's a lot of work, and I didn't hire any help because I overestimated my own abilities.

Babies did not attract me, and I was altogether without the maternal sense so highly developed in small and adolescent girls.

I finished 'Heartsick' with my daughter asleep in her bassinet by my desk, a feat that any new mother will tell you cannot be sufficiently praised.

There is nothing more boring for an intelligent woman than to spend endless amounts of time with small children.

We still want to idealize moms, and sometimes we want to idealize actresses who are moms, too. I know that's something I've experienced, but we're all just doing the best we can and we're all trying to raise our kids and talk to them about everything that needs to be discussed.

You have to be brave when you've got a kid.

Raising a daughter is hard work. There's no other way to describe it for me.

I'm not cut out to lug babies around!