Anne Lamott Quotes

Having a baby is like suddenly getting the world's worst roommate, like having Janis Joplin with a bad hangover and PMS come to stay with you.

I don't watch television because I have a tiny baby daughter. I'm useless.

A baby is such a huge change for everyone, so acknowledge that. It's hard, and you don't have to be great at everything right away.

Having a baby, it's like a five year commitment.

I'm not cut out to lug babies around!

I'm a childless woman, yet I felt no maternal urges whatsoever. The prospect of years of broken nights and nappy changes holds no appeal for me.

I think I'd be more relaxed as an older mum, although fundamentally life with a baby is pretty much the same whatever age you are. It's nappies, crying, feeding.

Before I had Toma, I was one of those people who had no interest in other people's kids. I was. 'Don't hand me that baby!'

Motherhood is quite challenging. Everyday is a whole new adventure with your child.

There's some people that are 24 hours with the baby and it doesn't make a difference. They could be anywhere.

Nothing is more precious than your baby.

People often ask me, "What's the difference between couplehood and babyhood?" In a word? Moisture. Everything in my life is now more moist. Between your spittle, your diapers, your spit-up and drool, you got your baby food, your wipes, your formula, your leaky bottles, sweaty baby backs, and numerous other untraceable sources-all creating an ever-present moistness in my life, which heretofore was mainly dry.

With young kids (I have four including the newborn) times passes weirdly for me.

Bringing a baby into the world is something I've always wanted, and now I'm completely ready for my life to start revolving around another human being.

I love children. I'm embarrassingly baby-crazy.

A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.

I got introduced to audiobooks because of having a baby.

Parenthood always comes as a shock. Postpartum blues? Postpartum panic is more like it. We set out to have a baby; what we get is a total take-over of our lives.

Everybody always talks about it, about how you don't know love until you meet your baby, and you really feel that. There are no words. It was a really wonderful surprise. And there is no way to prepare yourself for the sleep deprivation and what comes with it.

Raising five boys is a handful, trust me.

My friends who have babies can't do anything. You can't go out at night. Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

Parenting is not for everybody. It changes your life. Especially when they're little.

I don't think I would have been a good mother. Being a parent brings immense responsibility. It's a Herculean task. It would be almost too much for me.

Does any new parent, even if you're not a first-time parent, ever really know what to do?

You know, I have a kid on my own, and I know how busy it is, the first weeks and the first month.