Uma Thurman Quotes

One of the most essential and mundane of human activities - taking care of children - requires high levels of anxious vigilance. ... [Parents] dare not risk assuming that the sudden quiet from the toddlers' room means they are studying with Baby Einstein. Visualize fratricidal stranglings and electric outlets stabbed with forks: this is how we have reproduced our genomes.

You know, I have a kid on my own, and I know how busy it is, the first weeks and the first month.

I remember there being a period of time when I had a baby, and I was so sleep-deprived that I'd get into having no filter, and that was not good.

Having a baby is like suddenly getting the world's worst roommate.

With young kids (I have four including the newborn) times passes weirdly for me.

Watching teething babies is like watching over a thermonuclear reactor-it is best done in shifts, by well-rested people.

I don't watch television because I have a tiny baby daughter. I'm useless.

Somehow I am really relaxed within the chaos of having a baby - and anyone who's a mother knows it's very hard to relax, because there is so much to do and worry about!

I got introduced to audiobooks because of having a baby.

I'm doing stand-up comedy. I'm working on a one-woman show about how I don't like my baby. There is a period of time where a baby is born where the next 3 months is harrowing. A lot of people say it's the most wonderful time, but for me it was harrowing.

Absolutely. It's something I'd eventually love. In the meantime, I just borrow all my friends' kids. It's seriously the best birth control in the world. I'm so tired afterward, I'm like, Okay, maybe in another two years.

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.

I jokingly say that the enemies are children, you know. I always say, if you have young kids, your whole goal from the moment they wake up is to make them tired. It's exhausting. Anybody who's got kids knows what I'm talking about.

Definitely there are lots of days that l am really tired, especially after becoming a new mom. There's nothing more exhausting because physically, mentally, emotionally, it requires you to be on all the time.

I don't know what to do with babies.

My friends who have kids look like they haven't been to bed for a year.

I have a two-year-old who just turned three, and my four-year-old just turned five. I have the same irrational feelings taking them to pre-school. It's this charged combination of stress and joy and anxiety and excitement. When they're away, you've got a sudden loss of purpose and this ever-present fear about the kid's welfare. The departure of our children from our nest is not an easy thing.

I'll never get sick of raising my children, but other people might get sick of them.

Speaking of birthdays, our firstborn [recently turned 2]. As parents sometimes fondly do, we reminisced a bit about his early days on earth-the excitement, the wonder, the fears when we brought him home. His every squeak or squawk we were sure heralded some terrible crisis; I tested the warmth of formulas from dusk to dawn, it seemed. We were so germ-conscious my wife even sterilized the skin of the oranges before squeezing them. How firstborns ever survive their parents' attentions is beyond me. However, they do, and he did, and, in spite of our efforts, he turned out to be quite a good guy.

My children are babies and my husband has scarcely half an hour in 24 to give me.

Having a baby can be a scream.

Getting pregnant and caring for a baby gave me a confidence I'd never had before. I really felt I'd done something well, and I can't say that about anything else in my life. I've never watched a movie I've appeared in and thought, wow, I was great. I always think, oh, I could have done this better.

My main focus is on becoming a new mom and giving the best of myself to my husband and growing baby.

What instruction the baby brings to the mother!

I also have two children under three who keep me up all night and don't seem to understand the benefits of sitting in silence, which has presented an interesting challenge.