Tim Vine Quotes

I write for kids because I think the most interesting (and most humorous) stories come from people's childhoods. When I was writing 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid,' I had a blast talking on the phone to my younger brother, Patrick, remembering all of the things that happened to our family when we were growing up.

I've got two wonderful children - and two out of five isn't too bad.

My daughter got me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. So we know she's sarcastic.

My wife and kids maybe beg to differ, but I am generally a good guy.

I've always been known in my family as the one who imitates the crazy Dominican relatives.

People say, 'Well, you're not Pau's little brother anymore.' I'm always going to be Pau's younger brother and Adria's older brother.

I have four sisters, three younger sisters, so I've been an older sibling to people before.

I have a teenage daughter and a 10-year-old daughter. Things are pink and fluffy at my house, with two little dogs. It's pretty funny to be me now. And I'm in on the joke that is my life.

Mumbai is home to us. Medina was born in Munich because Roya's family lives in Germany and she had five sisters to help her while I was travelling for work.

We grew up in a nice house in a very middle-class area in Bolton and had a very happy childhood. My mum, Falak, who was also brought over from Pakistan by her parents as a kid, devoted herself to bringing up me and my younger brother and sister, Haroon and Tabinda, and my elder sister Mariyah.

My dad's a funny guy.

Rafe grinned. "So we are dating?" "No. You have to pass the parental exam first. It'll take you awhile to compile the data. They'd like it in triplicate." I turned to my parents. "We have Kenji. We have my cell phone. Since we aren't officially dating, I'm sure you'll agree that's all the protection we need." Dad chocked on his coffee.

Everything‟s fine,” I said, with a tight smile. “Kiyo was just giving me his latest explanation about how my son is a terror to be feared.” Dorian scoffed. “Little Thundro? A terror? Hardly, unless perhaps we‟re discussing diapers.

Dad told Uncle Seth not to screw things up,” she informed me as we washed our hands. “He said even if Uncle Seth is famous, him getting a woman like you defies belief.” I laughed and smoothed down the skirt of my dress. “I don’t know about that. I don’t think your dad gives your uncle enough credit." Brandy gave me a sage look, worthy of someone much older. “Uncle Seth spent last Valentine’s Day at a library.

How're we getting to King's Cross tomorrow, Dad?" asked Fred as they dug into a sumptuous pudding. "The Ministry's providing a couple of cars," said Mr. Weasley. Everyone looked up at him. "Why?" said Percy curiously. "It's because of you, Perce," said George seriously. "And there'll be little flags on the hoods, with HB on them-" "-for Humongous Bighead," said Fred.

So, your dad's hot." "Thanks. He was that way when I met him, so I can't really take credit.

People talk about dysfunctional families; I've never seen any other kind.

Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.

I got my dad a great father's Day present. He called to say: 'Ach. Zis present is so good I now think it vas almost vorth having children.

My brother and I both like sarcastic, insulting comedy, so that's a way we communicate. Somehow that's what we learned. My mom is not a really sarcastic person. She's a really sort of overly loving person, and my brother and I came out little cynical bastards.

I needed to temper (my dad's) enthusiasm a bit (about attending Princeton), and so I announced that I would be majoring in patricide...My mom was actually jealous.

I would tell people some years later that I was raised an only child and so was my brother.

I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.

Brothers are a blessing for one thing. There is no possibility of any young lady getting unreasonably conceited if she be endowed with them.

"My father," she admitted, "was of Italian extraction. Unfortunately, not an affliction that can be cured." She paused. "Though he did die."