Patricia Briggs Quotes

I'm going to be doing exactly what I'm doing now - teaching people about animals.

I have laughter dates with myself, where I find comics on YouTube and watch them. Louis C.K. was my first laughter date a couple years ago. I'll also watch those videos of people doing idiotic things. That cracks me up.

We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.

We also have 2 horses, but they're not allowed in the house.

I want to get a wolf and an eagle.

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one.

No wonder circus animals do what they do: They tortured them. And you know the only ones they can't control? It's the chimpanzees. You can't control them. That's why you never see a gorilla in a movie, because the gorilla may decide there'll be no filming.

It is the job of the dog trainer to summon the dog's genetics, not to impose man's will over dog's.

Circus lions are mean. They don't know anything about affection training.

We've got eight dogs, a cat, a turtle, kids... yeah we have a lot of dogs. It's a lot of fur, it's a lot of poop... and that's not even counting Robbie. He's the hairiest most feral animal of all.

My older six are animals.

Bindi's been filming with us since she first hatched.

A boar is often held by a not-so-large dog.

I love my dogs and I give them affection all the time but it has to be at the right time or they get confused.

He's a pit bull," Adam said. "I know some really nice pit bulls." "He's the kind of pit that makes the evening news. Gansey's trying to restrain him." "How noble.

She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw — I don't say she will, but she can.

My mother always told me the best way to learn to deal with a man was to learn to ride a mule. She said they have about equal brains most of the time. Sometimes the mule is smarter.

I didn't move. I've learned from years of experience that dogs and falcons and ladies come back to you if you stay where you are.

What I like about stand-up is, it's truthful. I'm not up there trying to get laid or look cool. I'm up there because I really love it, and it makes people happier.

I have seen many a bear led by a man: but I never before saw a man led by a bear.

It's like trying to train an ADD cat in a mouse factory.

My dogs, the only creatures on the planet marked by my singular nurturing imprint, have all turned out to be rude and self-absorbed. In all likelihood, if they were children instead of dogs, I would have foisted more Charlie Sheens or Kardashians onto our crumbling culture.

This is terrific! What fun! Maybe tomorrow I can go to the prom with my brother. The day after, perhaps I can wear white pants and unexpectedly get my period.

...looking angrily at the wombat: and a moment later, 'Come now, Stephen, this is coming it pretty high: your brute is eating my hat.' 'So he is, too,' said Dr. Maturin. 'But do not be perturbed, Jack; it will do him no harm, at all. His digestive processes--