Chelsea Handler Quotes

You don't wanna hear the truth, so I'ma lie to you...make it sound fly to you.

In Hollywood, lying is something that people do like breathing.

I have a certain experience of the way people tell lies.

The perjurer's mother told white lies.

We lie. That's what we do. You're selling me a line of bullshit and you want me to sell you a line of bullshit back so you can write a major line of bullshit and be paid for it.

We assume that all statements must be mild inversions of the truth, because it's too weird to imagine people who aren't casually lying, pretty much all the time.

Lies are usually attempts to make everything simpler - for the liar - than it really is, or ought to be.

The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake.

I'm not proud of it, but I'm a great liar when I travel. I smile and lie, and things are smooth.

Saying what you believe others want to hear is, of course, a form of lying.

The music industry is a world of smoke and mirrors: they tell you exactly what they think you want to hear. And they are bare-faced lying. I tend to stay away from that.

Advertising is legalized lying.

It is perhaps being economical with the truth.

If you have the ability to convince somebody of something that you don't necessarily think is the case, it's a valuable asset. Not that I'm, like, a pathological liar, but we spend most of the day not fully being honest, you know?

I don't know what else to do other than tell people what I think to be untruths.

Lying is our stock-in-trade as social creatures.

I guess entertainment means blatantly lyin'

The most offensive is not their lying - one can always forgive lying - lying is a delightful thing, for it leads to truth - what is offensive is that they lie and worship their own lying.

People lie for lots of reasons, often because it seems like a way to get what they want with less effort.

I was a little shocked at the elaborateness of the lie.

I lie a lot - it's really useful.

A Falsehood is, in one sense, a dead thing; but too often it moves about, galvanized by self-will, and pushes the living out of their seats.

Everything he did was at least partial and often total bullshit” (402).

All my life I have lied. I lied to escape, I lied to be loved, I lied for placement and power; I lied to lie. It was a way of living; lies are life's almost-anagram.