Toddler Behavior Quotes

The cliches are all true! My son Max has just turned two, and he's literally turned into this driven young man overnight! The terrible twos are not a myth, but he's such a laugh to be around.

Now it's not D.T.F., It's now, diapers, tantrums and formula.

Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does, right?

There is no straightforward negotiation with a four year old.

It's saying no. That's your first hint that something's alive. It says no. That's how you know a baby is starting to turn into a person. They run around saying no all day, throwing their aliveness at everything to see what it'll stick to. You can't say no if you don't have desires and opinions and wants of your own. You wouldn't even want to. No is the heart of thinking.

As Anna Freud remarked, the toddler who wanders off into some other aisle, feels lost, and screams anxiously for his mother neversays "I got lost," but accusingly says "You lost me!" It is a rare mother who agrees that she lost him! she expects her child to stay with her; in her experience it is the child who has lost track of the mother, while in the child's experience it is the mother who has lost track of him. Each view is entirely correct from the perspective of the individual who holds it .

I love children. I'm embarrassingly baby-crazy.

Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.

When kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.

Everything is explicable in the terms of the behavior of a small child.

One of the most essential and mundane of human activities - taking care of children - requires high levels of anxious vigilance. ... [Parents] dare not risk assuming that the sudden quiet from the toddlers' room means they are studying with Baby Einstein. Visualize fratricidal stranglings and electric outlets stabbed with forks: this is how we have reproduced our genomes.

Give me 200 active 2-year-olds and I could conquer the world.

What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can't even walk straight.

There's a Drunk Midget in My House Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. Like most people who have had one baby, I am an expert on everythiing and will tell you, unsolicited, how to raise your kid!

Toddlers can make you feel as if you have violated some archaic law in their personal Koran and you should die, infidel.

Technology is a tool that has allowed us to swipe around like an angry toddler.

~I've never met a 2-year-old who is terrible. I'm so cool with every stage my daughter goes through. I just think she's amazing. I hope she's not looking at me thinking, Mom, are the terrible 30s coming on with you?~

Parents find many different ways to work their way through the assertiveness of their two-year-olds, but seeing that assertiveness as positive energy being directed toward growth as a competent individual may open up some new possibilities.

I have a twenty-month-old baby, a sixteen-year-old boy - same maturity level.

Babies are like the smallest, drunkest people you know.

I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.

Children never lie...I remember my daughter standing in her crib the first time I gave her caviar. I put it on bread. She ate it and said, "Encore, Papa."

Babies, they learn how to walk and they are already trying to run away. You can't reach the doorknob, you only know us, think it through.

I have a two year old. Just turned two a couple weeks ago, and he is my main man, he is my shadow. Every spare second, I am hanging with him.

Tell me why it is that a toddler will gag over a perfectly wonderful breakfast of ham, eggs, biscuits, juice, and jelly. But then he will enthusiastically drink the dog's water and play in the toilet. Truly, he is his mother's greatest challenge...; and her most inexpressible joy.