Medical Examination Quotes

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'

A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"

Opened by the Army examiner!

What's your name?" what?" i asked, squinting at the light. your name." I reconized Dr. Olendzki peering over me. you know my name." I want you to tell me." Rose. Rose Hathaway." Do you know your birthday?" Of course I do. Why are you asking me such stupid things? Did you lose my records?" Dr. Olendzki gave an exasperated sigh and walked off, taking the annoying light with her. "I think she's fine.

I had to take a physical to do this show. They had a lot of weird questions like, "Have you ever tried sugar or PCP?"

Well, Doctor, I don't have the diagnosis on that. I'll be sure to do a physical checkup and get back to you.

The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks the patient. The doctor says "I'm mad at my neighbor!".

They examined all my organs. Some of them are quite remarkable and others are not so good. A lot of museums are bidding for them.

The group MoveOn.org has called on John McCain to release all of his medical records. In response, McCain told them, 'Why don't you just come down to the warehouse and look around for yourself? Bring a forklift, it'll take time.'

I was taken to an examining room where a big butch nurse practitioner came in and asked me if I was pregnant. “No way!” Was I sexually active? “Nope!” Had I ever been molested? “Well,” I said, trying to make a joke, “Oprah says the only answers to that question are ‘Yes’ and ‘I don’t remember.’ ” I laughed. We were having fun. The nurse looked at me, concerned/annoyed.

Some people's weight loss is impeded by an impaired thyroid. So I think it's worth testing that at your next physical exam. If it's off, sometimes, that can be caused by excess metals, such as mercury or cadmium. A qualified M.D. can help you cleanse your body of those.

It's like being called up in the draft. The peculiar joy of hemorrhaging without bleeding starts when the evil little red light glows on the monstrous camera.

There is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bllodeshot eye.

Doctor, feel my purse.

While the question of who killed President Kennedy is important, the question 'what killed him' is more important.

The examining physician often hesitates to make the necessary examination because it involves soiling the finger.

I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, "We found something in your bladder AND IT'S SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!"

I questioned her further, and eventually got to talk to her doctor. And her doctor sort of shook his head and he said, 'I have examined her for throat cancer at least 15 times in the past few years.

They were just accidents. Luke said he was just testing my concussion. I'm not mad at him.

I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.

The doctor looked my body over. I said: Is there any hope? He said: Yes. Reincarnation.

Go and see whether the Doctor is about,’ said Jack, ‘and if he is, ask him to look in, when he has a moment.’ Which he is in the fish-market, turning over some old-fashioned lobsters. No. I tell a lie. That is him, falling down the companion-way and cursing in foreign.

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!"

He was a nice guy, middle-aged, a little tired, like most doctors usually seemed to be, but he just nodded and said, "Let me take a look at him. Shane?" "I'm not dropping my pants," Shane said. "I just thought I'd say that up front.

When you do a telemedicine visit, you don't do a proper physical exam.