Gary Larson Quotes

More people are killed every year by pigs than by sharks, which shows you how good we are at evaluating risk.

So the hotel tells us that it is not safe to go in the water because its shark mating time. I know how I'd feel if someone interrupted me.

The only use for a knife during a shark attack is pure treachery: Stab your buddy, swim like hell, and hope the munchies take him.

That's not news! When a shark comes out of the water, walks into a 7-11, and bites you in the ass, then it's news!

Man Swims in Shark Infested Waters, Forgets He's Shark Food.

I'm afraid of sharks - but only in a water situation.

I'm obsessed with crocodiles and getting eaten by one. When I hear that someone's been eaten by a crocodile or shark, I just get all gooey. I start salivating.

Look, Chief, you can't go off half-cocked looking for vengeance against a fish. That shark isn't evil. It's not a murderer. It's just obeying its own instincts. Trying to get retribution against a fish is crazy.

I've always been freaked out in deep open water if there's a potential of sharks around.

Every day, there's always something to be worried about; you turn on the news and see something different every day, and it's terrible. Hopefully, as Americans, and as the inhabitants of the world, we can come together. We need to change lives - whether that's conserving water, destigmatizing mental health treatment or something else. We can change lives.

Pigs eat more tuna than all the planet's sharks combined.

Alright...here's the deal. What's happening in this piece is very simple, over here on this side...you see that there is a very scared little kinda guy over there...wanna know why he's scared? Because this guy over here is trying to eat him.

The more wary you are of danger, the more likely you are to meet it.

Asking someone in the media about liberal bias is like asking a fish about water. 'Huh, what are you talking about? Where is it?'

Relationships are like sharks. They've got to keep going into deeper, colder water, sometimes scarier, darker territories ... to stay alive.

There is this sweet spot in time when we have an opportunity to stop killing sharks and tunas and swordfish and other wildlife in the sea before it's too late.

Interesting fact: a shark will only attack you if you’re wet.

And so I learned what solitude really was. It was raw material - awesome, malleable,older than men or worlds or water. And it was merciless - for it let a man become precisely what he alone made of himself.

Hand me down the shark repellent Bat-Spray!

You can't dump one cup of sugar into the ocean and expect to get syrup. If everybody sweetened her own cup of water, then things would begin to change.

Sharks are the criminals of the sea. Dolphins are the outlaws.

I’ve blamed her for all of this, for leaving, for ruining me. And maybe that was the seed of it, but from that one little seed grew this tumor of a flowering plant. And I’m the one who nurtures it. I water it. I care for it.I nibble from its poison berries. I let it wrap around my neck, choking the air right out of me. I’ve done that. All by myself. All to myself.

Risk is what you make of it.

Being able to turn to Jesus after the shark attack kept me alive.

Sharks are like dogs. They only bite when you touch their private parts.