Gary Larson Quotes

You Know the Most Dangerous Thing In the Water? A Shark Fart.

The Oceanic White Tip is considered one of the most dangerous sharks in the sea along with the Great White and Tiger. It is responsible for some of the most famous episodes of man-eating in history, such as when the U.S.S. Indianapolis sank in 1945.

Sharks don't target human beings, and they certainly don't hold grudges.

Sharks freak me out.

So the hotel tells us that it is not safe to go in the water because its shark mating time. I know how I'd feel if someone interrupted me.

That's not news! When a shark comes out of the water, walks into a 7-11, and bites you in the ass, then it's news!

Sharks are just evil bastards. I'm quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we need the fish.

Interesting fact: a shark will only attack you if you’re wet.

Sharks are like dogs. They only bite when you touch their private parts.

I've always been freaked out in deep open water if there's a potential of sharks around.

I've seen sharks in the ocean, it hasn't made me get out of the ocean; that's for sure.

Many people continue to think of sharks as man-eating beasts. Sharks are enormously powerful and wild creatures, but you're more likely to be killed by your kitchen toaster than a shark!

I mention this fact as tending to support what I have often heard stated, namely, that a shark's sense of smell is so keen that, if men ever bathe in seas where they are found, a shark is almost sure to appear directly afterwards.

Twenty-five years ago nobody knew much about white sharks.

Most people catch them breaching from the surface when they're shooting out of the water. I have them breaching from underwater in a 16-time sequence, a shark leaving the water and then reentering the water.

Almost any shark, three or four feet long, could kill a human being if it chose to do it. It could make you bleed to death. But they don't.

I've swam with great white sharks.

I think great whites are the most beautiful and perfect creatures I've ever seen.

For decades I have tried to peel back the layers of mystery surrounding many marine creatures, though most have held tightly to their secrets. One animal that keeps me pondering is the shark. Spellbound by these enigmatic animals since I first encountered them in New England, I never tire of watching their special blend of power and grace.

Kneeling on the sea bottom in a place known as Tiger Beach, I watched a 12-foot- long female tiger shark cruise over the turtle grass with three silver bar jacks swimming in front of her nose.

People come to me and say, 'What'll I do if I go in the water and see a shark?' You don't have to do anything. The chances of that shark attacking you in any way is so remote. The sea should be enjoyed, the animals in it. When you see a shark underwater, you should say, 'How lucky I am to see this beautiful animal in his environment!'

I don't think there's such a thing as an unprovoked shark attack.

A great white jumped into my cage when I was diving in South Africa. Half its body was in the cage, and it was snapping at me.

I've never been bitten by a shark, though God knows I had to poke a lot of them in the nose.

Out here in California, in the Pacific Ocean, the sharks have a bad attitude.