Jay Leno Quotes

Father was the most unreconciled taxpayer I ever knew.

Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here's an often overlooked accounting technique that can save you thousands of dollars: For several days before you put it in the mail, carry your tax return around under your armpit. No IRS agent is going to want to spend hours poring over a sweat-stained document. So even if you owe money, you can put in for an enormous refund and the agent will probably give it to you, just to avoid an audit. What does he care? It's not his money.

I know a lot of wealthy people that have never been audited.

Another one of President Barack Obama's nominees is having tax issues, which proves one thing: The Democrats like raising the taxes, but they hate paying them.

Remember: If the IRS suspects you haven't reported income, it can challenge returns from the past six years. So if you are self-employed or have multiple income sources, hold on to six years of files to be absolutely safe.

'Tax Collector' was optioned for a series with F/X, but it never happened. I guess they ran into a problem trying to figure out why someone would tune in to watch a show about a guy who works for the IRS.

What am I afraid of? The IRS. That's it. I don't want those people knockin' on my door, man.

I've been held responsible for taxes I know nothing about.

The media's worried about whether I've paid my taxes; they're worried about any number of silly things that have nothing to do with America.

I didn't pay my taxes for years.

There are no taxes that are unpaid, nor were there any taxes that I was responsible for that didn't get paid.

I have no tax delinquency problem, nor have I ever.

The fact is, there are a couple of years he may not have paid any taxes. Maybe he's concerned about that. But if it's going to come out, he needs to get it out now so he has a couple of months to explain it.

I have paid taxes every year, a lot of taxes.

The only years [of Donald Trump's] that anybody's ever seen were a couple of years when he had to turn them over to state authorities when he was trying to get a casino license, and they showed he didn't pay any federal income tax.

When you're under audit, you don't give your papers. An audit is - I have been under audit for so many years. Every year, I get audited. For, I think, over 10 years, maybe even 12 years, I have been audited. And I think it's very fair. And I think I'm being singled out.

I think the terror most people are concerned with is the IRS.

If you make one word out of 'The IRS' it spells 'theirs.'

I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, If you'll remember, I fastened my return with a paper clip, which according to your very own latest government pentagon spending figures will more than make up for the difference.

I had hundreds of thousands of dollars of tax penalties.

I'm careful to pay every single penny on my taxes. I don't have any money offshore.

I'd think people would want me to follow the law and pay only what the tax code requires.

I have not purposely gone out to try to avoid paying income tax.

I did not use a Cayman Island entity to avoid paying taxes for myself.