Bob Newhart Quotes

I don't have any writers. I never get a laugh with somebody else's jokes. I can't do it justice.

People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on 'The Daily Show'... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.

I really like to do comedy, and I did comedy the first 2 years after I graduated college, so I really love it and appreciate it.

I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.

I love stand up and it keeps me grounded, to say the stuff I have been thinking without anyone changing it.

I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.

Theo does comedy now, and he's traveling around the country doing comedy, and I actually just saw him, he's from Louisiana, and I just saw him when I went home to visit my family in Louisiana. I saw his comedy show and he was brilliant.

So much of a stand-up's life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.

I know what I look like. I'm not a babe who's automatically going to be the leading-lady type. I think I would always be cast as the friend. I probably tend to look crap more often than I look good. I like messing around and pulling funny faces and doing funny walks.

I took an acting class. After the first day, the teacher quit, so they said take another. When I saw 'How to be a Stand-up Comedian,' it resonated. I realized I'd rather make 200 people laugh than make one person cry.

I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it's what I've been doing and it's what I'm going to keep doing.

Did you know I started out as a stand-up comic? People don't believe me when I tell them. That's how I saw myself, in comedy.

Acting requires a lot of discipline to go with the obsession. It's a path of knowledge, and of self-knowledge. Sometimes you get lost on the path. And then you find yourself again.

I definitely am a performer, and there are different styles of stand-up; I mean, some people are writers and they get onstage to get jokes out, and that's definitely not what I do. I like to just go up and, if I'm telling a story about someone, I'll play his or her part.

I always want to go back and do stand-up; I like the freedom.

I never even thought of myself as deadpan until someone wrote an article about me about a year after I was doing comedy. There was a paper called the 'Boston Phoenix,' and someone wrote a description of what I was doing and that's where I first saw 'deadpan.'

All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could do besides comedy.

I think I probably would have gone into stand-up.

I do enjoy Dennis Miller, I do enjoy Chris Rock when they do their political humor, but it's never been my goal... I love relatable humor.

My first love is doing my own comedy stuff.

I just realized at a certain point that no matter how much writing I did, I'm still a gym rat for comedy clubs.

As a stand-up comic, you have to do the road.

I like stand-up. I've done it since I was a teenager, so it's kind of my first job and first kind of creative way to express myself.

I get to do comedy for a living.

I don't want a chat show or to be on telly every day, as that's not my business; my business is standing in front of people and making them laugh, and I want to see how far I can get with that.