Mike Myers Quotes

Stupidity really gets me going, when it's just plain stupid, obvious stupidity.

Why is it there are so many more horses' asses than there are horses?

When I read passages like this, I want to look for the nearest wall to bang my head against.

It's normal at this point for the fear-anger syndrome to take over and make you want to hammer on that side plate with a chisel, to pound it off with a sledge if necessary. You think about it, and the more you think about it the more you're inclined to take the whole machine to a high bridge and drop it off. It's just outrageous that a tiny little slot of a screw can defeat you so totally.

Don't ask me how I am! I understand nothing more!

I'm allergic to stupidity.

And now I wish I hadn’t been civil, because he says he shall not despair! He is as stupid as Endymion!” “No, no!” said Alverstoke soothingly. “Nobody could be as stupid as Endymion!

Normally, I'm a grumpy old man - whenever I read about celebrity, I start to grind my teeth and pull my hair; it seems synonymous with idiocy.

By-and-large, these are families that are just waiting to get out of here. They are frustrated; I would be, too. I get frustrated at the cash register counter when the paper runs out.

There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.

Well, excuuuuuse me!

They look at someone like me, and I just really get up their nose. I really wind them up.

I wish I had an answer to that because I'm tired of answering that question.

I'm not in the being-annoyed business.

If I hear the word 'perky' again, I'll puke.

In some cases, I quite like irritating people who need to be irritated.

I'm not very happy. I'm frustrated with human beings. I'm the guy who just wants to smack people in the face and say, 'Wake up!'

I used to think that nails-down-a-chalkboard was the worst sound in the world. Then I moved on to people-eating-cereal-on-the-phone. But only this week did I stumble across the rightful winner: it's the sound of a baggage carousel coming to a grinding halt, having reunited every passenger on your flight with their luggage, except for you.

I don't have pet peeves; I have whole kennels of irritation.

I know of no more disagreeable situation than to be left feeling generally angry without anybody in particular to be angry at.

Nothing is so aggravating than calmness.

Nuts!

The dumbest fucking guy on the planet.

I'm so sick of Betty White.

It's pointless to get all huffy about stuff.