George Carlin Quotes

I was the bad kid in school. I was usually in trouble.

My parents separated before I was 1 year old. I moved in with my aunt and uncle when I was in fourth grade. I was, like, 8 or 9 years old. I was getting in a lot of trouble when I was in Southern California. My older sisters were in gangs. My older brother was in gangs.

I was just a kid, but I was a rotten kid.

I probably lived more of a rock-star life when I was 15. I got in trouble a fair amount. I cared more about hanging out and skipping school than studying.

I was so obsessed with film and actors that I wasn't a very good student. I was always in trouble, but my father would always take us to the movies.

I got kicked out of school... I caused a lot of turbulence throughout those years.

Man, I was a troubled kid. I was going to get kicked out of a Christian school and got sent to military school for a year and a half, and I didn't really have much direction until I got the opportunity to drive race cars.

You would think, because I stayed to myself and I was shy, that I'd be a good student, but actually, I was a bad student. I was in detention a lot, mainly for cutting, being late to class. I was in tardy hall a lot. I hate the idea of homework. I don't get it.

I was a troubled young kid, and I would try to break every rule.

I got kicked out of all Gwinnett schools 'cause I got in a fight, and I had to go to military school.

I spent my 18th birthday in jail. Charges were dropped as long as I promised never to return to the state of Kansas. My parents took me home to Louisiana. I lasted there a week. Then I ran away.

I've had a pretty chequered past, you know, as a kid, as a troubled kid.

In junior high in Germany I fought kids all the time. I had such a bad temper, I almost got thrown out of school. A few lickings from my dad got me out of that scene. He wore me out with a paddle.

Well, Luce, my dear, you may have gone to boarding school parties, but you've never seen a throw-down like reform school kids do it.

Misbehavior and punishment are not opposites that cancel each other - on the contrary they breed and reinforce each other.

As far as being a Republican is concerned, I come from a place, New York City, which is virtually, I mean, it is almost exclusively Democrat. And I have really started to see some of the negatives - as an example, and I have a lot of liking for this man, but the last number of months of his brother's administration were a catastrophe. And unfortunately, those few months gave us President Obama. And you can't be happy about that.

I was really in to shiny things when I was younger and I stole a shiny tag for my dog. I didn't get caught. I hope I don't go to jail for that.

For some reason, when I was in junior high school, my friends and I had, like, a cologne-stealing ring.

The night before my amputation, my former basketball coach brought me a magazine with an article on an amputee who ran in the New York Marathon. It was then I decided to meet this new challenge head on and not only overcome my disability, but conquer it in such a way that I could never look back and say it disabled me.

The only kind of trouble I've ever been in is when I was stealing eggs when I was little. I think I know right from wrong.

My brother played the game with his friends, so I thought I was a pretty smart kid and I played this friend of mine and he just crushed me and this was Brooklyn Tech High School in Brooklyn where I still live, in Brooklyn, New York and this guy beat me so bad it wasn't even funny. I couldn't understand why he beat me.

I did shoplift but I didn't get in trouble for it. I shoplifted a lot when I was little. Candy. I would steal candy.

Going from Army base to base as a kid taught me to be a man of all nations. I'd go to the Jewish people and say, 'Shalom, brother.' I go to the Muslim people and say, 'Salaam aleikum.'I go to the Chinese people and say, 'Nee hao mah,' which means, 'How you doin'?' I go to the Japanese people and say, 'Konnichiwa.' I go to San Antonio, Texas, and I get along with Mexicans. Then I go to Louisiana and hang with the Creoles. Moving around a lot made me a man of all people.

Near our vineyard there was a pear tree laden with fruit that was not attractive in either flavor or form. One night, when I [at the age of sixteen] had played until dark on the sandlot with some other juvenile delinquents, we went to shake that tree and carry off its fruit. From it we carried off huge loads, not to feast on, but to throw to the pigs, although we did eat a few ourselves. We did it just because it was forbidden.

You take up for your buddies, no matter what they do. When you're a gang, you stick up for the members. If you don't stick up for them, stick together, make like brothers, it isn't a gang anymore. It's a pack. A snarling, distrustful, bickering park like the Socs in their social clubs or the street gangs in New York or the wolves in the timber.