Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes

I'm just trying to portray what I find ironic or humorous.

I could stay here and pour tea and entertain the guests all day and I would be criticized.

In my opinion, if you're entertaining guests, you should do everything possible to make them comfortable.

When any one of our relations was found to be a person of a very bad character, a troublesome guest, or one we desired to get rid of, upon his leaving my house I ever took care to lend him a riding-coat, or a pair of boots, or sometimes a horse of small value, and I always had the satisfaction of finding he never came back to return them.

Sex has been around for a long time. You may not believe this, but it was around before I was.

Oh, where are my manners? Do sit down. Pull up a small child.

Might I trouble you to open the window, for chloroform vapour does not help the palate.

It is a widespread and firm belief among guests that their departure is always a matter of distress to their hosts, and that in order to indicate that they have been pleasantly entertained, they must demonstrate an extreme unwillingness to allow the entertainment to conclude. This is not necessarily true.

A fig for your bill of fare; show me your bill of company.

So Fnick, can I change channel?" Iggy asked. "There's a game on." "Make yourself at home, Figgy." Fang said.

I would rather undergo a vasectomy via Weed Whacker than attend an opera.

I reckon I am a smart aleck, but it is just a way to pass the time.

I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown?

Invite your friend to dinner; have nothing to do with your enemy.

"It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever" he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?"

Thanksgiving is coming. I wonder what the holiday will be like at Dog the Bounty Hunter’s house—obviously, they’ll have a turkey with all-white meat.

I love Cheryl [Hines] so much and had so much fun with her. Off set we got on so well and would tell stories.

In popular houses where visitors like to go again and again, there is always a happy combination of some attention on the part of the hostess and the perfect freedom of the guests to occupy their time as they choose.

My brain? It's my second favorite organ!

Ladies and gentlemen, Otis Alexander Sudeikis has LEFT the building! (I'm the building)

An exotic and irrational entertainment.

If she was going to die, she might as well die sarcastic.

Phillip looked to Eloise. "Perhaps introductions are in order?" "Oh," Eloise said, gulping. "Yes, of course. These are my brothers." "I'd gathered," he said, his voice as dry as dust. She shot him an apologetic look, which, Phillip thought, was really the least she could do after nearly getting him tortured and killed, then turned to her brothers and motioned to each in turn, saying, "Anthony, Benedict, Colin, Gregory. These three," she added, motioning to A, B, and C, "are my elders. This one"—she waved dismissively at Gregory—"is an infant.

H is for Hardware store: I'd rather go to the hardware store than the opera. And I like the opera.

I bought all those [fitness] videos -- Richard Simmons, Jane Fonda. I love to sit and eat cookies and watch 'em.