Phyllis Diller Quotes

To beguile the time, look like the time. Bear welcome in your eye, your hand, your tongue.

it is bad manners to contradict a guest. You must never insult people in your own house - always go to theirs.

Discretion is the polite word for hypocrisy.

I'm a really good dinner party guest. I am always so appreciative, impressed that anyone has even managed to turn on the oven and cook for me.

I could stay here and pour tea and entertain the guests all day and I would be criticized.

To dismiss a guest is a more ungracious act than not to admit him at all.

When any one of our relations was found to be a person of a very bad character, a troublesome guest, or one we desired to get rid of, upon his leaving my house I ever took care to lend him a riding-coat, or a pair of boots, or sometimes a horse of small value, and I always had the satisfaction of finding he never came back to return them.

Flattery is a challenge. The proper turning away from it, undercutting, diminishing it without offense or vehemence, is a social grace sweeter even than the swift determination to keep ahead in the race of hospitality.

The most indispensable qualification of a cook is punctuality. The same must be said of guests.

They that are booted are not alwaies ready.

It is equally wrong to speed a guest who does not want to go, and to keep one back who is eager. You ought to make welcome the present guest, and send forth the one who wishes to go.

To be an agreeable guest one need only enjoy oneself.

It is equally offensive to speed a guest who would like to stay and to detain one who is anxious to leave.

A guest is really good or bad because of the host or hostess who makes being a guest an easy or a difficult task.

And through the hall there walked to and fro A jolly yeoman, marshall of the same, Whose name was Appetite; he did bestow Both guestes and meate, whenever in they came, And knew them how to order without blame.

I have a bag full of stuff that I give to people when they come to my house.

Fish and guests in three days are stale.

A ready person never needs to get ready.

If you wait until you are ready, it is almost certainly too late.

There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now.

Good manners make any man a pleasure to be with. Ask any woman.

'Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone. Alice looked around the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. 'I don't see any wine,' she remarked. 'There isn't any,' said the March Hare.

Am I now ready to make some changes.

Sometimes we seek that which we are not yet ready to find.