S. J. Perelman Quotes

Quit smoking, and observe posted speed limits. This will improve your odds of getting old enough to be wise.

A man is as old as his arteries.

It is not well to make great changes in old age.

The goal of my diet-style is eating for optimal health and longevity. What greater benefit could there be than living healthfully and actively into old age with no dependence on medications and almost no risk of heart disease, diabetes or dementia?

You can't help getting older, but you can help yourself from becoming old and infirm, in mind as well as body.

It isn't so bad getting old. It really isn't. As long as I can stay healthy.

Being seventy is not a sin. It's not a joy, either.

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.

At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.

All who live to a good old age have a genius for sleep.

Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.

You don't stop running because you get old, you get old because you stop running.

Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.

... no problem except old age ever vanquished my mother.

My health is good; it's my age that's bad.

Being seventy has its advantages. I was outspoken before, but now what have I got to keep quiet about?

Most people believe that aging is normal but nobody defines what normal aging is.

When you get older, if you are healthy, is not a problem. If you don't have the health, then you go home.

I would rather be old for a shorter time than be old before my time.

I like old people when they have aged well.

I do not myself find it agreeable to be 90, and I cannot imagine why it should seem so to other people. It is not that you have any fears about your own death, it is that your upholstery is already dead around you.

I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!

Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.

It got up to 94 degrees today – that's pretty good at my age.

Oh, to be seventy again!