Joseph Heller Quotes

There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to.

Sometimes I think that if I wasn't crazy... I'd go crazy.

That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed. It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.

Resisting madness is the maddest way of being mad.

Logic plus logic equals the illogical. Do you know what I mean?

If one were to take the bible seriously one would go mad. But to take the bible seriously, one must be already mad.

I look out the chair while eating my pillow. I open the wall, I walk with my ears. I have ten eyes to walk with and two fingers to look with. I put my head on the floor to sit down, I put my bottom on the ceiling. After eating the music box, I spread jam on the rug for a great dessert.

A thing can be true and still be desperate folly.

You can't just play crazy. It makes you push yourself to stay in the realm of reality. And when you do that, it's a lot funnier. That's my favorite, when you think it's a real strange person and not just someone being wacky.

The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the turnip.

In an insane world, sanity made very little sense.

There was only one catch and that was catch 22

If the sleep of reason produces monsters, what does the sleep of unreason produce?

In an age of madness, to expect to be untouched by madness is a form of madness. But the pursuit of sanity can be a form of madness, too

We have now left Reason and Sanity Junction. Next stop, Looneyville.

Whoever's calm and sensible is insane!

The Red Queen shook her head. "You may call it 'nonsense' if you like," she said, "but I've heard nonsense, compared with which that would be as sensible as a dictionary!

She smiled darkly and shook her head. 'I'm not crazy. I'm not. Of course what else would a crazy person claim? That's the Kafkaesque genius of it all. If you're not crazy but people have told the world you are, then all your protests to the contrary just underscore their point. Do you see what I'm saying?

Stoicism is the wisdom of madness and cynicism the madness of wisdom.

She [Alice] went on "And how do you know that you're mad?" "To begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. You grant that?" "I suppose so," said Alice. "Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags it's tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."

Who says I'm insane?" "Oh you're sane alright. You're so sane, you scare me. You're so sane, it's insane.

The factory workers say that it's impossible to do anything right. If you arrive five minutes early you are a saboteur; if you arrive five minutes late you are betraying socialism; if you arrive on time they say, Where did you get the watch?

Craziest thing I ever did for love? It's all crazy. None of it makes any sense, does it, when you're in love with someone. It doesn't make any logical sense. I guess that's why they call it being in love.