Joseph Heller Quotes

That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed. It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to.

There was only one catch and that was Catch22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask, and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to.

There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.

If you run for mayor, people say you're being egotistical. If you decide you won't run for mayor, people say you're being self-centered and egotistical.

When somebody says that all statements are false, the obvious problem is that as an assertion it's self-defeating.

I can clap with one hand.

The only problem is time.

Ambition has one heel nailed in well, though she stretch her fingers to touch the heavens.

The petitioner's problem is to avoid Scylla without being drawn into Charybdis.

You can and you can't You will and you won't You'll be damned if you do You'll be damned if you don't

A double bind is far worse than a straightforward damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't dilemma. It requires you to obey two mutually exclusive commands: Anything you do to fulfill one violates the other.

I love to dance, but the flip side is that I can't dance.

The wise men were all fools, what to do?

Democracy is a problem and we don't want to get rid of it.

It is certain because it is impossible. -Certum est quia impossibile

Why do I need I.D. to get I.D.? If I had I.D. I wouldn't need I.D.

Paradoxes are the only truths.

It serves the purpose of not serving a purpose, surely quite a valid one.

The limitations are limitless.

There is no solution, for there is no problem.

Wherever the bird with no feet flew, she found trees with no limbs.

We have this history of impossible solutions to insoluble problems.

If you nail a tool shed closed, how do you put the hammer away?

An infinite personality is an infinite impossibility.