Art Buchwald Quotes

I realize that's why we play golf, to hit the ball into the hole. But it is a strange feeling when you hit the shot and it actually goes in.

I didn't know much about golf growing up.

My primary school teacher once poured a bottle of curdled school milk forcefully down my throat. Then I threw it up all over her suede shoes. I'd rather have drunk from the spittoon in Barney's barber shop.

I just picked up golf, it was good, give me a chance to play golf.

I like to play golf. I like to shoot hoops.

I don't like watching golf on TV. I'd rather play.

I don't have anything against the 'Honey Badger.' It's just that 'Honey Badger' happened at such a dark time in my life. If the little kids out there want to call me the 'Honey Badger,' they can do that.

I just go out and play golf.

I'm obsessed with golf, so I love going to play golf.

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

For one thing, I like to walk when I play golf. Now I don't walk the whole way, but I try not to be the driver when in a cart.

I don't play golf. Mark Twain is golf to me.

You've got to figure out what works best for you. That's the hard part. I know I can't play as stoic as Hogan, and I can't talk as much as Trevino. You have to be your own person.

This is the substance of our Plot-For those who play the Perfect Shot, There are ten thousand who do not.

When Nicklaus plays wells well, he wins. When he plays badly, he finishes second. When he plays terribly, he finishes third.

When I was 12 years old, I was just horrible. My parents were ashamed to watch my matches. I would play on a court at the local club and they would watch from the balcony. They would scream, 'Be quiet' to me and I would scream back, 'Go and have a drink. Leave me alone.' Then we would drive home in a very quiet car. No one speaking to each other.

I like travelers, but I don't like tourists. The difference is that travelers don't shop and they don't play golf.

I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot.

I never think about the numbers. I've never played tennis for the money, because as long as I enjoy it, and I can achieve anything, then the money will come. I know that things will start coming up, many more people will want to start getting involved. But I just want to keep my head cool, and I want to leave (business) to the people who take care of business. I just go out and I just play tennis.

I'm hitting the driver so good I gotta dial the operator for long distance after I hit it.

You win one and then you win another. You feel more comfortable and more confident, and it snowballs. You can't wait to get to the next hole and play better.

I was just so honored to play the role of Cinderella and to just be the first African-American princess, that's just historic for me, that's such a mark in my life and my career and then the bonus of just working with my favorite person in the whole world, Whitney [Houston], like her voice just did something to my spirit.

I was so ugly my parents had to hang a pork chop around my neck to get the dog to play with me.

I started over again with an image: Nothing goes right. Then when The Godfather came out, all I heard was, Show respect. With me, you show respect. So I changed the image to I don't get no respect. I tried it out in Greenwich Village. I remember the first joke I told: Even as a kid, I'd play hide and seek and the other kids wouldn't even look for me. The people laughed. After the show, they started saying to me, Me, too - I don't get no respect. I figured, let's try it again.