Eddie Alvarez Quotes

I've always tried to come up with funny dancing since I was young, to attract girls' attention for one thing. It's got to be funny. I can't pull it off with serious dances. That's not me.

I was fooling everyone by surrounding myself with funny people. But then I put myself out there - writing my own sketches, going on stage with nobody surrounding me - and for some reason people were still laughing.

It takes a lot of guts to get up on top of a bar and dance.

I never thought I was funny, but I enjoy being funny.

Not many women will go out on a limb to make themselves really unattractive and unfeminine so you can get the laughs, but it's a great thing to do in my book.

So you don't have to take us too seriously; I mean, we're already intimidating enough on stage.

I've turned arrogance into an artform, where it's so absurd that it becomes comedy. But I've never done anything to hurt anybody or steal from anyone.

The difference between you and the funny person on TV is that they acted on their ideas.

I always wanted to entertain. When I was six, a scrawny, scrawny kid, I'd get in my red speedo and do muscle moves. I actually thought I was muscular. I didn't know everyone was laughing at me.

When I think of myself, I'm definitely... I'm not like a comedian.

I'm never afraid to try something if I think it's funny. And I know I'll regret it if I don't.

I consider myself a fearless idiot.

People ask what my influences are, and for me, it's not always obvious. One of my biggest inspirations was Chrissie Hynde from the Pretenders. That's based on how she just does whatever she wants to do, and I love her attitude about everything. It bleeds over into my way of thinking and comedy.

Loads of blokes think they're funny, but it counts for nothing unless you get up and have a go.

You have to be a bit mad and conceited to go on television.

I really enjoy Sarah Silverman's fearlessness.

There are some beautiful things about people like Katy Perry, who are bold enough to go up on a pink cotton-candy cloud, with a guitar, in a tutu, and sing all by herself.

When I started doing my act, I wasn't married and didn't have kids. I was probably 29 years old. Some people say that's not a kid, but when you're 50, and you look back to when you were 30, you were a kid. You look back on your 30s and think, "I was an idiot!" But I would just do things then I thought were funny. I couldn't have cared less who thought anything about it.

I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.

I'm a hard act to follow, because when I'm done, I take the microphone with me.

In life, I'd much rather have people laughing at me than booing me.

I don't say 'Tis impossible for an impudent man not to rise in the world, but a moderate merit with a large share of impudence is more probable to be advanced than the greatest qualifications without it.

Don't be humble... you're not that great.

In my personal life, I have always been bold, from the clothes I wear to how I talk. For me, boldness does not necessarily mean stripping. I think people have wrong notion about boldness. For me, bold is being different.

Anybody, providing he knows how to be amusing, has the right to talk about himself.