Ellen DeGeneres Quotes

I don't believe in storks. I know they don't deliver babies; they deliver pickles.

I think it's hilarious when middle-aged white men try to take themselves seriously. It makes me laugh.

I'm always going to do whatever I think is funniest. If something's dark, I'll do it. If it's a sock puppet, if it's a stool, I'll do it.

[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'

I think comedy's often the little and the large, isn't it?

Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely

I naturally think in terms of comedy whenever I see anything because tragedy is so close to comedy, so I like to add the tragedy to the comedy or a little bit of comedy to the tragedy in order to make them both feel more real to me.

I think Georges Feydeau said comedy is just tragedy speeded up.

The thing about Donald [Trump] is the jokes write themselves. I don't even think of it to be trolling. What he says is the joke.

Kids like my act because I'm wearing nose glasses. Adults like my act because there's a guy who thinks putting on nose glasses is funny.

I think absurdist humor is funny.

I look at the world and I find the funny in it, because there's funny in everything. No matter how ugly it may be, there's a funny way to look at it.

I love when people overexaggerate. It's so funny to me.

Humor is a way of saying we're all seeing the same ridiculous, absurd, infuriating things together.

I think I was born with a natural way of looking at something and trying to find the ways in which it was odd or funny, Even in the sad or angry stuff, I was, 'Well, but where is the funny part of this?'

We have a need to make people laugh at things they'd never thought about, make them laugh at things that aren't logical.

It's hard to make a joke out of someone that's a joke.

I don't take myself or the species too seriously. You have to laugh at everything.

A lot of French comedy is satire.

Humor is the only way to tell a story. Especially the dark ones.

Woody Allen's 'The Complete Prose' - It's just the best selection of comic writing by one author. You know it's good comedy when you get quite demoralised about yourself.

The best jokes take something awful and make it silly.

With comedy, I try to steer toward, you know, talking about people that do crazy things, messed-up things. That's what I like to talk about.

Louie Anderson thinks my thing is the absurdness of reality. That's what we do on 'Portlandia' all the time. I try to bring that absurdness of reality to everything.

I draw from the most pompous people, who are the people that make me laugh the most.