Dave Attell Quotes

This is it. I can't even not smoke anymore

Smoking is the great romance of my lifetime. If I could find someone I wanted forty-five times a day, perhaps I could stop.

Three cigarettes in, your body already craves it. It is that addictive.

It's about giving the people what they want. So many people have told me that they've made love to my records so what I've delivered this time is an album about sex. Pretty much every song has that theme. Straight no chasers, it's booty music!

What a weird thing smoking is and I can't stop it. I feel cosy, have a sense of well-being when I'm smoking, poisoning myself, killing myself slowly. Not so slowly maybe. I have all kinds of pains I don't want to know about and I know that's what they're from. But when I don't smoke I scarcely feel as if I'm living. I don't feel as if I'm living unless I'm killing myself.

Cigarettes and coffee, man, that's a combination.

It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.

When the devil makes his offer (always open incidentally) of the kingdoms of the earth, it is the bordellos which glow so alluringly to most of us, not the banks and the counting-houses and the snow-swept corridors of power . . . Sex is the mysticism of a materialistic society - in the beginning was the Flesh, and the Flesh became Word; with its own mysteries - this is my birth pill; swallow it in remembrance of me! - and its own sacred texts and scriptures - the erotica which fall like black atomic rain on the just and unjust alike, drenching us, stupefying us. To be carnally minded is life!

... some of the best sex I can barely remember.

Smoking helped put me in touch with the realm of the senses.

Food, sex, and liquor create their own appetite.

I know I should stop smoking, but it scares me. I mean, what would I turn to next?

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

Our stock in trade is raw, flailing sex.

Sex is a slotmachine.

There's no religion but sex and music.

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.

Making love is like hitting a baseball. You just gotta relax and concentrate.

I was a smoker for about 20 years.

I like flesh. I do! Something to hold.

The two most wonderful things in life are money and sex, but the minute you start discussing them, they become b-o-r-i-n-g.

I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.

When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

Variety, multiplicity are the two most powerful vehicles of lust.

The only burning passion I'm sure I have, is the passion for sex.