Sebastian Maniscalco Quotes

Billy Crystal knows how to make people laugh. He's got 30 years on stage... there's no telling him what's funny.

Patrice O'Neal is the best comic I ever saw.

I do comedy shows. I make fun of myself, first of all.

I don't care about how I look; I'm dedicated to the laughs. You know, I used to be a clown, so - my name was Smoothie the Clown. All the training I had, all my training is geared toward making people laugh, and I didn't care about being cool.

Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers.

My job is mostly to entertain and be funny.

The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and you're doing one thing. That is, you're going to make the audience laugh.

When did I start comedy? I came out of the womb and did 10 minutes.

All I care about is making jokes that are funny and making people laugh.

I've always just tried to make the audience laugh.

Sometimes when I'm performing, whenever my puppet cracks a joke, it actually makes me laugh.

There's a guy in the audience with a distinctive laugh. I hope that guy is miked. The only problem with having a distinctive laugh is I know exactly when that guy isn't laughing. "Oh, distinctive laugh doesn't think that joke was funny!"

Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious.

There's something quite joyful about doing comedy which doesn't really need much analysis. I'm not elitist. I like to do crowd-pleasing stuff which is a bit smart, but is just about belly laughs.

My primary responsibility is to be funny.

I remember seeing McCoy Tyner in concert, and thinking that the music was incredible, but wanting to be invited in. I figured that humor was the way of letting the audience in. I've gotten a hard time about it, but I love to be funny onstage.

I'm really not an actor of any kind. I've always seen myself as an entertainer, someone who makes people laugh. That's all I've ever wanted to do. 'Doctor Who' has always just been me, really.

The hardest thing in the world to do is to have someone in a seat in a theater laughing so hard that they're making weird sounds.

It's good to be funny when you are a comedian.

I lived to make Scott Baio laugh.

Whenever I realize I'm being a goofball, I write it down. When I release the joke onstage, I love watching the effect it has on the audience. No one wants to see someone talk who takes themselves too seriously.

I never used to tell jokes on stage. Now I'm cutting up jokes all night long.

My job is summer camp. I come and talk and try to make a TV show funny.

Chris Rock is a very funny man.

I heard David Sedaris read live recently which was a complete delight. Few writers make me laugh out loud on the bus. He does.