Charles Caleb Colton Quotes

You can do gross-out until the cows come home but if there isn't something to balance it, then it's not going to work at all.

I think that there's a fine line between comedy and drama.

Wit catches of wit, as fire of fire.

If I know the answer I'll tell you the answer, and if I don't I'll just respond cleverly.

Can I ask you a question?" "You already have." He paused, considering. "Can I ask you two questions, then?" "You already have.

Interviewer: "What keeps you grounded?" Bieber: "Gravity." Interviewer: "What's up, Justin?" Bieber: "The sky, man."

A pun, though despicable in itself, can be the noblest vehicle of an artistic intention by serving as the abbreviation of a wittyview. It can be a social criticism in the form of an epigram.

Hey, look your girlfriend is saying something. Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?

I never knew an enemy to puns who was not an ill-natured man.

Life was never anything but a perpetual see-saw between gravity and jest.

Punning is a talent which no man affects to despise but he that is without it.

I tried to think of a witty play on Every picture tells a thousand words, but then the whole word/picture thing collapsed on me.

Every witticism is an inexact thought; that which is perfectly true is imperfectly witty.

I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.

That's why when I send a postcard I quiz people. "Hey, did you get that postcard?" "Yeah, yeah yeah." "Well what'd I say?" "Uh, you were havin-" "I was in jail"

Puns are the highest form of literature.

Eeek,” Shane said. Nothing. Right, Amazon princess, I got the point.

My wife went into the butchers and said: "You've a sheep's head in your window." The butcher said: "That's a mirror."

A talent for repartee is one that increases with practice.

It doesn't feel like you're preaching, if you can say something in a joke.

It is having in some measure a sort of wit to know how to use the wit of others.

Acting is mostly about listening. If you just focus in on what the other person is saying, acting takes care of itself to quite a large extent.

There is no kind of false wit which has been so recommended by the practice of all ages, as that which consists in a jingle of words, and is comprehended under the general name of punning.

One should have wit, but not wish to have it; otherwise there will be witticism, the Alexandrian style of wit.