Jimmy Fallon Quotes

Republican Ted Cruz announced that he will run for president in 2016. So finally, Carnival is no longer the most dangerous cruise in America.

Donald Trump is talking about running for president. He hasn't made an announcement, but I want to tell you something. The fake suspense is killing me.

It's so funny that people think I actually ran for President. I am maybe the most un-political person you're ever going to meet. When I put "Elected" out, it was definitely a satire... "Alice Cooper for President"... when everybody realized I was running against Nixon, you known, even on a joke level, I think I got a lot of write-in votes.

Well, the big story -- Hillary Clinton will be running for president in 2008. You know why I think she's running? I think she finally wants to see what it's like to sleep in the president's bed.

Rand Paul is officially running for president. He even revealed his campaign slogan, which is 'Defeat the Washington machine. Unleash the American dream.' It's hard to tell if he's running for president or doing an infomercial for Bowflex.

Donald Trump announces this morning that he will run for president. His hair will announce on Friday.

This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you do when you run for president. You gotta preserve.

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics.

Well, first of all, I was asked by Ross Perot on a telephone call in March of 1992 if, since he had committed on the Larry King Show to becoming a candidate for president, to get on all 50 ballots.

[Describing a presidential campaign:] A three year diet of rubber chicken and occasional crow.

Honestly, I just don’t see it [running for the Presidency]. I tried it once…. You can go out with me to Iowa. You wouldn’t believe it. You’d never go to Iowa again.

The 2016 Presidential Campaign had the most bizarre and unusual occurrences in all my years of covering politics, I have never seen so much that was unique and unheard of. My favorite one was when the Republican Speaker of the House referred to the Republican Senator Ted Cruz, the "Devil Incarnate". And then the Society of Satan Worshippers put out a Press Release denying it.

The only bus tours to political events I ever went on with my father were when he was running for president. Why else would you be touring the nation in a bus?

Basically I'm the first woman [run a president campaign] - it doesn't get covered a lot because I'm in the wrong party to have done that, and worked for the wrong candidate to have been recognized to do that.

Like one of [Donald] Trump's sons said this is a huge step down for him to run for president. Like he's not doing it - let's just be clear.

Chris Christie won by such a wide margin that pundits say this will give him the impetus he needs to run for president. And he's got a new slogan: 'Put the oval in the Oval Office.'

Donald Trump announced that he's running for president. During his speech he told the crowd that if elected he would be 'the greatest jobs president that God ever created.' Then God said, 'Hey, don't drag me into this publicity stunt.'

Congratulations to Chelsea Clinton. Over the weekend, she gave birth to a baby girl. The baby girl will not confirm or deny whether she's running in 2056.

You would think there is a higher bar than having a Facebook page to run for president.

Yesterday on CNN, Joe Biden said he hasn't made up his mind about whether he'll run for president in 2016. Which raises the question: 'Who was raising that question?'

The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.

I'm sure I spent more time in Texas than anybody else who had run for President recently.

Lincoln Chafee, former governor of Rhode Island, announced he's running for president. Before he announced he's running, his wife went on Facebook and asked his staff if they remembered his password. Because if a Facebook password is too hard to remember, the launch codes for the nukes should be a piece of cake.

The elections have a different platform, the town hall is the platform for it. But the other question behind all this is should I run for president?

Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor. He's got a great slogan - 'Vote for me, or I'll make 'Kindergarten Cop II