Stephen Colbert Quotes

If you do not know how to lie, cheat and steal, turn your attention to politics and learn.

The diplomat holds all acts honorable which bring him success, all things are righteous which serve his ends. If cheating is necessary, he will cheat; if lying is useful, he will lie; if bribery helps, he will bribe; if murder serves, he will order murder; if burglary, seduction, arson or forgery brings success nearer, all and each of these will be done.

My three years in politics was very instructive about the way in which the appetite for political power can destroy a human mind, destroy principles and values, and transform people into little monsters.

There are no generalizations in American politics that vested selfishness cannot cut through.

There are no morals in politics; there is only expedience. A scoundrel may be of use to us just because he is a scoundrel.

Politics ruins the character.

Under every stone lurks a politician

A political career brings out the basest qualities in human nature.

Politics—where they pat you on the back so they'll know where to stick the knife.

... he [Thomas E. Dewey] is a political streetwalker accosting men with "come home with me dear.

Power is seductive.

Two forms of government are favorable to the prevalence of falsehood and deceit. Under a Despotism, men are false, treacherous, and deceitful through fear, like slaves dreading the lash. Under a Democracy they are so as a means of attaining popularity and office, and because of the greed for wealth.

Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit.

In Indian politics, deception seems a byword. I'll have none of that.

If you hang around politics long enough, you tend to get disappointed by people.

'House Of Cards' with Kevin Spacey - I love how it portrays humans in power as just like the rest of us - but even worse.

I'm setting the record straight - Chuck Schumer is nothing but a political animal who symbolizes all that's wrong with American politics.

I've never been in politics before, but even in the brief time that I've been running for governor, I've been exposed to some of the worst people I've ever known. Liars, cowards, sociopaths.

A nice state of affairs when a man has to indulge his vices by proxy.

There are thorns everywhere, but along the path of vice, roses bloom above them.

It is a matter of common knowledge that the government of South Carolina is under domination of a small ring of cunning, conniving men.

The appalling reality in American politics today is that, when ideology and money mix, truth is a mere inconvenience.

Inauthenticity is endemic in American politics today. The political backrooms where I spent much of my career were just as benighted as my personal life, equally crowded with shadowy strangers and compromises, truths I hoped to deny. I lived not in one closet but in many.

My mother thought Hollywood was a den of iniquity, and people came to terrible bad ends there.

There's not a self-regulating group of nice fair-playing people in politics. There are a lot of dodgy people in politics.