Gabriel Iglesias Quotes

I have a four year old and I'm telling you we did Nickelodeon last night and he embarrassed me. It was like one of those moments when I couldn't believe my kid is acting like this. I just had to just like walk away from him because he was really pushing my buttons.

You just don't understand humility until you have children and get divorced.

Parents don't understand kids and kids don't understand parents. My parents were divorced when I was really young and I went to live with my dad.

Every family is dysfunctional.

Families just have so many secrets and dysfunctions.

Most families are dysfunctional.

I think part of being a parent is trying to kill your kids.

Unfortunately, I have a child who doesn't sleep.

I don't know how it is with other people's relationships, but my wife is always much more tired than me because she works much harder looking after the children, which is an endless battle - a lot of it is battling with them to stop battling with each other.

As a person, I think you're always kind of searching for something or going through a hardship, whether it's your parents splitting up or anything like that. I mean, my parents stuck together, for whatever reason, until I was about 23, and then they decided to call it quits.

I, like many people, have had bumps in the road when it comes to family. Family dynamics are complicated and weigh heavily on me.

My family's messed up, for real.

There are so many single moms and dads out there, and we are all just trying to pick up the pieces together. It's hard.

Well, you have children so you know: little children little troubles, big children, big troubles - it's a saying in Yiddish. Maybe the Chinese said it too.

That’s family for you. Can’t live with them, can’t murder them.

I can't get my wife to agree with me on everything or my kids to agree with everything.

Criticism is the seed of divorce, and it develops rebellion in our young.

Anyone must remember that dad left when I was 3 years old. Mom and I lived out of the limelight. We lived a totally different life.

Weddings are never about the bride and groom, weddings are public platforms for dysfunctional families.

The mother- poor invaded soul- finds even the bathroom door no bar to hammering little hands.

the temperaments of children are often as oddly unsuited to parents as if capricious fairies had been filling cradles with changelings.

My children weary me. I can only see them as defective adults: feckless, destructive, frivolous, sensual, humorless.

bringing up children was]like living with a bunch of drunks...you really have to be on your toes all the time.

It doesn't make any difference how much money a father earns, his name is always Dad-Can-I.... Like all other children, my five have one great talent: they are gifted beggars. Not one of them ever ran into the room, looked up at me, and said, "I'm really happy that you're my father, and as a tangible token of my appreciation, here's a dollar.