Christopher Moore Quotes

Why do these crazy vampires keep trying to collect me?

Over the years all these vampire movies have come out and nobody looks like a vampire anymore.

Vampires have risen from the dead, the grave, and the crypt, but have never managed it from the cat.

There are vampires and vampires, and not all of them suck blood.

I have no intention of making vampires cool. Absolutely not. They're not cool.

What's next? If there are vampires in there, they probably drink artificial blood plasma substitute.

For every kind of vampire, there is a kind of cross

I'm a coyote shapeshifter playing in a world of werewolves and vampires---outmatched is n understatement.

If you are a vampire, then a vampire is not the creature of the legends.

No, death hadn't changed [Willie] much. But just in case, I avoided looking directly into his eyes. It was standard policy for dealing with vampires. He was a slime bucket, but now he was an undead slime bucket.

Jesus, are all vampires over two hundred perverts?" "I am over two hundred," Jean-Claude said. "I rest my case.

There was this about vampires : they could never look scruffy. Instead, they were... what was the word... deshabille. It meant untidy, but with bags and bags of style.

They're [zombies] us, you can also have the wrestler zombie, the clown zombie, the Jay Leno zombie and the nun zombie. I've never seen the clown werewolf or vampire. But because zombies are us, at the lowest possible level, they're a lot more versatile for storytelling.

With a rasping cough, the vampire shakes its head. "It was you who called us. All of you, with your war. The roar of your cannons shook us from our quiet graves.

But it's daylight," she said at last. "Vampires can't go out in the sun, everyone knows that!" Bones chuckled. "Right And we shrink back from crosses, can't travel over water, and always get staked in the end by the righteous slayer. Really, who'd be afraid of a creature like that? All you'd need is a Bible, a tanning bed, and some holy water to send us shivering to our dooms.

It's cool to play a vampire.

Really now, search your soul, lovie-is the vampire so bad? All he does is drink blood.

If vampires ever spend less time playing theatrics and living down to their stereotypes, they might actually take over the world someday

English vampires may not be as well behaved around witches as the American ones are.

Crosses?" "Definitely" "Why?" "Because they're evil, soulless, bloodsucking fiends?" "So was my sixth-grade gym teacher, but he wasn't afraid of a cross.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

In the 1970s vampires were pretty boring. The scariest vampire was Count Chocula. One bite of Count Chocula and you were cursed with Type 2 diabetes.

Oh God, I just kissed a vampire!" Oh Gods, I just kissed a human!

I'm a big fan of the older vampire movies.

How can you give a man a room in a house and not let him come through the front door?