P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

What makes me laugh? Richard Nixon always made me laugh.

Satire is fascinating stuff. It's deadly serious, and when politics begin to break down, there is a drift towards satire, because it's the only thing that makes any sense.

Politics is much too serious to be taken too seriously; equally, there are many aspects of it so laughable as to be lamentable.

I would think a sense of the absurd is more important for a political cartoonist, because that could define things like a sense of hypocrisy or a sense of the things one has to be skeptical about.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

'Discworld' is taking something that you know is ridiculous and treating it as if it is serious, to see if something interesting happens when you do so.

Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel peace prize.

Humor is a powerful tool, and some of these politicians are so far out and easy to lampoon. They just provide such delicious opportunity.

'The Ugly Truth' isn't trying to change the world with strong political opinions; it's just trying to entertain you with thoughts and ideas from my crazy mind!

I think it's hilarious when middle-aged white men try to take themselves seriously. It makes me laugh.

In 1986, our commencement speaker was George Schultz, secretary of state, fourth in line to the president. You get me-basic cable's second most popular fake newsman. At this rate, the class of 2021 will be addressed by a zoo parrot in a mortar-board that has been trained to say "congratulations.

Mitt Romney is quite a guy. At one point he and his wife bought a zoo and fired all the animals.

The thing about Donald [Trump] is the jokes write themselves. I don't even think of it to be trolling. What he says is the joke.

I think if she lived in A little shoe-house That little old woman was Surely a mouse!

I do not make jokes about Sarah Palin simply because I could not live in this world if I believed she was a real person.

Dear Bill (O'Reilly)...I am concerned that you have been losing touch with reality recently. Did you really say you are more powerful than any politician? That reminds me of the famous story about Squeaky the Chicago Mouse. It seems that Squeaky was floating on his back along the Chicago River one day. Approaching the Michigan Avenue lift bridge, he called out: Raise the bridge! I have an erection!

Laughter almost ever cometh of things most disproportioned to ourselves and nature: delight hath a joy in it either permanent or present; laughter hath only a scornful tickling.

To be looked upon as a fool by an idiot is a true connoisseur's delight.

From the makers of Alien vs. Predator: Alien vs. Pingu. K9 - stop humping the toaster!

As in 'The Three Billy Goats Gruff'?" The skull howled with laughter. "You just got your ass handed to you by a nursery tale?""I wouldn't say they handed me my ass," I said.Bob was nearly strangling on his laughter, and given that he had no lungs it seemed gratuitous somehow. "That's because you can't see yourself," he choked out. "Your nose is all swollen up and you've got two black eyes. You look like a raccoon. Holding a dislocated ass.

Lives the man that can figure a naked Duke of Windlestraw addressing a naked House of Lords?

Here it is,' Nigel said. Mrs D, Mrs I, Mrs FFI, Mrs C, Mrs U, Mrs LTY. That spells difficulty.' How perfectly ridiculous!' snorted Miss Trunchbull. 'Why are all these women married?