Groucho Marx Quotes

Say, the next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you, will you?

I swear, if you existed I'd divorce you.

They look at someone like me, and I just really get up their nose. I really wind them up.

I hate everybody.

When I am right, I get angry. Churchill gets angry when he is wrong. We are angry at each other much of the time.

There are a few things that make me angry. Mostly things not going my way.

I've never had an easy relationship with critics. I hold a lot of homicide in my heart. If this was another time, I'd be packing a piece.

Don't even bring Drake around me!

I hate the word 'annoying!'

Life is too short to have anybody named McMahon in mine.

Sometimes I feel like hitting somebody. You look at the refs and they say, 'We'll take care of it.' I think, 'Yeah? You won't take care of it the way I'd like to take care of it.'

One thing that I've struggled with has been a certain amount of animosity toward the whole human race.

When he talked his eyes went away from mine and then he forced himself to look straight at me and he began to explain and I knew that he felt very strange with me and that he hated me, and it was funny sitting there and talking like that, knowing he hated me.

But most of us are apt to settle within ourselves that the man who blocks our way is odious, and not to mind causing him a little of the disgust which his personality excites in ourselves.

I wasn't sure I could make it through another hour of his company without throwing my stapler at his head.

Stan said he used to keep Hardy late, make him miss his golf game, and really get him mad.

Anger's not a good emotion.

Is there anything more useless than a crouton? I sometimes wake up in the small hours with a start and realise that what's roused me is an overpowering urge to visit violence on its originator.

I hate it when people say, Mary Elizabeth, this may be hell, but the movie is going to be sooo good.

It doesn't take much to make me angry.

I never feel any aggravation from the public.

People were hurt, and because they were hurt, they were angry and quarreled and were jealous of one another.

I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it!

Did Mad freakin' Max just call me irritating?

I met with people who are already very angry with the tribunal.