Morrie Ryskind Quotes

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Goodwin scowled at her cup. "With all due respect, my lord, I hate it when you make sense.

Admiral, you have wasted half an hour of my time.

Treating your adversary with respect is giving him an advantage to which he is not entitled.

If two people live together, one has to be patient, and typically, the other one is very annoying.

Don't even bring Drake around me!

And please don't call me that." I didn't call you 'that', I called you George Washington.

I wear a name tag to help people find me. It saves time when you're dealing with idiots.

Oh, I'm so glad we know what it's called, that's a great help," snarled Ron, leaning back, trying to stop the plant from curling around his neck.

Now that I see you understand me so well, I will avoid you.

But most of us are apt to settle within ourselves that the man who blocks our way is odious, and not to mind causing him a little of the disgust which his personality excites in ourselves.

Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I?

They look at someone like me, and I just really get up their nose. I really wind them up.

If love means never having to say you're sorry, then marriage means always having to say everything twice.

I hate everybody.

I hate people.

When I am right, I get angry. Churchill gets angry when he is wrong. We are angry at each other much of the time.

Screw them. Yeah. But not literally. I'm not advocating promiscuity.

The best you can sometimes do is learn to take a breath, count to ten and simply accept that try as you might, no, your husband will never, ever learn not to drop a wet towel on the bed. That acceptance too counts as resolving a fight.

I hate competition.

I learned firsthand that there would simply be no wars if people engaged in real conversation.

Hopefully, we can build bridges, but we also have to draw lines.

I'm happy to report that everybody whose face I've wanted to punch on Earth has already been punched.

It is impossible to persuade a man who does not disagree, but smiles.

I've never had an easy relationship with critics. I hold a lot of homicide in my heart. If this was another time, I'd be packing a piece.