Will Rogers Quotes

Never slap a man who chews tobacco.

Let's face it, when is it actually ever funny to joke about hitting someone? Never, right? The threat to give someone a slap, no matter how you look at it, is aggressive.

Cathy, this lamb of yours threatens like a bull!' he said. 'It is in danger of splitting its skull against my knuckles. By God! Mr. Linton, I'm mortally sorry that you are not worth knocking down!

Mr Lorry asks the witness questions: Ever been kicked? Might have been. Frequently? No. Ever kicked down stairs? Decidedly not; once received a kick at the top of a staircase, and fell down stairs of his own accord.

No one wants to get their ass beat to a soundtrack.

I'd love to spit some Beechnut in that dude's eye and shoot him with my ole forty-five.

I'm gonna have to start walking down the street and start hitting people in the head!

That's what happens when bodies start slapping.

When the guy with asthma finally came in from the fire escape, Parker rabbit-punched him and took his gun away.

So Stephanie.. you wanna say let the bodies hit the floor... I would say... let the boobies hit the floor!

Violence is not funny.

I've never hit anybody who hasn't clocked me two or three times.

I understand why biting is seen so badly.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I could definitely take someone out with my bare hands.

Fights in real life between real people only last so long before someone gets seriously hurt.

Fighting is easy to understand. You just hit the guy as hard as you can.

My own father used to boast to me of biting off a man's ear in a street fight.

I got kicked out of a club for sticking up for my sister. And I got into a fight that was basically hair pulling and rolling around on the gym floor. The fights make me sound like a hell-raiser, but I'm not proud of them.

I like seeing girls throw down.

It's been so long since I was in a real fight.

I dished out and suffered my fair share of bloody noses.

When you're mad at someone, it's probably best not to break his arm with a baseball bat.

… a knife fight

… thrashing a cannibal